Sophisticosity, Womanosity and er Snogosity?
by DancingInMyNuddyPants
Summary: Georgia is back with all the gang! When Vati and Mutti aka the ancients decide to take the american vacation without Georgia she is left with the house all to herself! What is a fabbity fab girl to do with a big house all aloney on her oney? Must read!
1. Chapter one

Hey there! I am in love with the Georgia Nicholson series, and you can imagine how excited I was when I found out they had a category in here for the series! So here goes...

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**Womanosity, Sophisticosity and...er...Snogosity?**  
by: Emma Bailey (aka MEEE) 

Disclaimer- I dont own Georgia and her world. The genius Louise Rennison owns it all  
-is jealous-

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**Saturday May 7th**

**In my bed of pain (not!)**

**7:00 am**

Life is fabbity fab fab! Up at the crack of dawn to make mutti and vati a delicious, nutricious, breakfast (pop tarts and milky coffee) to show them how grateful I am!

**7:25 am**

Vati nearly had a fit when I brought the breakfast in,

"Bloody hell, Georgie, what are you doing awake at this hour?" And then he rumpled my hair-dead vati walking-and sniffed the poptarts to make certain they were alright in the 'cooked department'. He got a little huffy though when I asked him if he was alright in the brain department.

**9:50 am**

That is the last time I ever do anything nice for my ungrateful elders-better yet-my ungrateful _ancients_

**10:00 am**

Rang Jas.  
"Jas?"  
"What?"  
"I've just thought of a brilliant new word for 'parents'"  
Silence.  
"Jas?"  
"Yes?"  
"Arn't you going to ask me what the new word is?"  
"Uh-huh."  
Silence.  
"Go on then...ask."  
"I will I'm just writing a postcard to Tom."  
"Why in the name of Wet Lindsays thong are you writing a postcard to Hunky? He lives down the block!"  
"I thought I'd be creative."  
Oh merde and double poo.  
"I don't care about your stupid postcard, Jas. I want to tell you my new word!"  
Then Mrs. Huffy knickers got all huffy.  
"Well, mabye I don't care about your stupid new word-"  
"-Jas."  
"-It's probably something really stupid about Elvis or Lindsay or-"  
"-Jas?"  
"-Or Slim or-"  
"-JAS!"  
"What?"  
"Shut up."  
"Fine. Have you pack for Hamburgeragogo?"  
"Jas, mon petite nincompoop!You're still ignore-vouzing the fact that I have a new word!"  
"Oh bugger off, Gee."  
And that's when I hung up on Po.

**10:15 am**

She is so incredibly rude. Someday I should force her to swallow her giganticamus knickers whole!

**10:18 am**

Still, haha on her! She'll never know my new word, which I seem to have forgotten by now anyways.

**10:20 am**

Ancients! That was it! Hahaha.

**2:30 pm**

Life is fabbity fab and yummy scrumboes and right now. In exactly one week I will be on my way to dreamy-dreamy land. That is once I find my gorgey-porgey sex meister, Masimo and ditch the Ancients and the criminally insane (ie. Libby, Angus and Gordy)

**4:00 pm**

Uncle Eddie in all his balding glory came round today in his robin mobile. He stuck his head in my door and simply said,

"A duck, a priest and a llama go into a bar and-"  
"-Uncle Eddie, as much as I would love to hear the end of this joke I am tres tres busy doing things of much importantosity right now and cannot be bothered."

**4:05 pm **

Putting on my old nose hammock.

**4:06 pm**

Triple Ew! I have only just realized that the knickers I was using for my nose hammock were Libbys, _who knows_ where they have been!

**4:15 pm**

Why havn't any of my so-called mates rang? Do they not know that I am on the verge of boredomosity.

**4:30 pm**

Rang Dave the L.  
"Dave?"  
"Hola sex kitty, hows life?"  
"Fantabulous. Except for one fly in the ointment."  
"And that would be?"  
"I am bored bored and tres times more bored."  
"Aren't you going to Rosie's for her vegetable party?"  
"Huh? What party?"  
"Tonight! It was a last minute thing."  
"Oh...hmm...yes-that party. I've heard of it. Uh-Dave can I talk to you later?"  
"Of course. Ta-Ta."

**4:45 pm**

Why would Rosie not invite me to her last minute vegetable party?

**4:50 pm**

Not that I would want to go anyway as Dave the L. will be there and I may come over with the general horn and would not be able to control my red bottomosity.

**4:53 pm**

Plus. Jas and Tom will be there, being all lovey dovey-esque seeing as the pair of them are two big vegetables themselves.

**4:57 pm**

Also seeing Tom will only remind me of my late sex god, Robbie, who has decided he loves snogging sheep in kiwiagogo land more than he enjoys snogging me in normalagogo land.

**5:00 pm**

Stupid trader mates, don't invite me to their stupid vegetable parties. I hate them, I'll never speak to them again. You couldn't force me with a gun to go to that party!

**5:15 pm**

Lalala.  
RoRo rang.  
I've been invited to the veggie party! She was running late on sending out invitations.

**5:30 pm**

Still, this is quite short notice for a party. What will I wear?

**5:35 pm**

I will never dress as a stuffed olive again, because we all know how what a disastrosity that was. I could make my nose look like a tomatoe if I pinched it for a bit.

**6:00 pm**

Dressed in all red and put my hair up with a green hair clip. Hopefully I look like a tomatoe-just not as round.

**6:15 pm**

Just did my makeup and nails. Now to tell the ancients about the vegetable extravaganza.

**6:45 pm**

Loon leader about laughed his arse off when I told him I was going to a vegetable party. Oh very ironic,El beardo, seeing as you are 'legalet' the _lord of the rings_ suare attender.

"Why can't you be like a normal teenager and go to normal parties?" He laughed.  
"Why can't you be a normal Vati and drive a normal car and do DIY in a normal shed?"

Mutti came in and began tutting and adjusting her giganticamus basoomas,

"Has anyone seen Libby?"

Just then someone burst into the room (ie. Libby) in the nuddypants with Angus and Gordy in either hand singing,

"Sex bum, I'm a sex bum!"  
"I found her." Mutti sighed.  
"Gingey, Ginger, Gingey-goo!" She called after me, "Me want to come to veggie party too!"  
"No Libbs, it's a big girl party only."  
"Bad Boy!" She yelled and hit me round the shins with scuba diving barbie.

**In my room**

**3:00 am**

What a night!  
I went to Rosies at 7:00 and Sven answered the door dressed as a gigantic carrot.

"Oh Ja, Georgie, chickie. Velcome to the vegetable party, jah."

I walked in and found Rosie dressed as an onion, Ellen a pepper and Jools a leaf of lettuce.  
I danced like a madwoman and ate some veggies and dip for three hours straight. Then Dave the laugh showed up. I almost burst out laughing when I saw him. He was dressed in a full out banana costume. Bright yellow and everything!

"Hey Gorgeous." He winked at me in a cool way and I felt my bottom turning several shades redder-even if he was in a banana costume.  
"You are dressed as a fruit, you know."  
"So are you." Came the voice of good old Jassyknickers from somewhere behind me.

Her and Hunky had just arrived and were both dressed as cucumbers, except Tom was a boy cucumber and Jas was a girly cucumber-a girly cucumber with a pair of giganticamus pantaloons and a crap fringe. I had still not forgiven her for not listening to my new word earlier today.

"What are you blithering on about, oh wise woman of the woods?"  
"Tomatoes are fruits."  
"No they're not."  
"Actually they are." Added Hunky. Well of course the vegetable twins would know.

I left the V. Twins to talk about all the lovely badgers and sticks they would meet on their next trip to crazytown (ie. the wilderness)

"I broke up with Rachel." Came Dave the L. in my ear, he was looking at me all wide-eyed and serious.  
"Oh-er-I'm sorry?" I couldn't honestly say that I was...thats why I said it dishonestly.  
He laughed in a very, er, laughing way.  
"Don't be. Listen Georgia, I think we should talk."  
But I did not hear what Dave had said because suddenly a light shined from somewhere above.  
What light shines yonder...uh...  
Ohmygiddygodstrousers! It was the sex meister!  
What in the name of Vatis clownmobile is he doing here? Isn't he supposed to be off in Hamburgeragogo land by now soaking up some-uh...amber waves of grain?

"Ciao, bella Georgia." He said, touching his hand to my cheek. Ooer.  
He looked groovy and fab and cool and yummy scrumboes and scrummy yumboes.  
"Nnnghhh." I said. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dave the L. walking away sadly.  
Oh well-the sex meister had landed. There is no time for boys that are a laugh!  
"I thought you were in Hamburgeragogo land?" There! I said something sane! Well...half sane.  
"Yes, well, my family decided to not go. It was too much of, how you say, rush?"  
I tried tosmile attractively and put my tongue behind my teeth and suck in my nose, but then I saw Wet Lindsay and my attractive smile turned into a glare. Lindsay glared back, then-No!-She came and put her tiny forheaded head on Sex meisters shoulder. Erlack! I will never be able to look at his shoulders the same-nevermind, they are pretty yummy scrumboes. All broad and muscular and...uh...anyway.  
Wet Lindsay smiled smugly,  
"Masimo, sweetie, we're supposed to be celebrating your permanent stay in Britain. Lets get out of this juvenile party."  
She is such a drip. A stick insect, small foreheaded drippy drip.  
"Okay, Lindsay. I just come to tell Georgia the good news. She is...a nice kid."  
A nice kid? A NICE KID!  
I am full of womanosity and sophisticosity and...er...snogosity.  
"Ciao, bella."  
"Ciao." P.S. I hate you.

I turned and went to find my so-called mates so that they could come and comfort their poor miserable, helpless, defenseless little Gee.  
"Why so sad, Gorgeous?" It was Dave the laugh.  
I prepared myself for an emergency getaway in case my lips began to pucker.  
"Masimo." I answered.  
"I see." Since when is he chalked full of wisdomosity?  
"Masimo is uno jerkio." I said. Sometimes I amaze myself with my ability to stay cool, calm and collected in times of sheer desperadoes.  
Dave the L. laughed in a very Dave the laugh kind of way and suddenly I found myself attatched to his lips.  
Oh mondieu! Tres merde and double poo!  
My red bottom has come out to play. Next thing I knew I was in a closet with him. Nip libbling and ear snogging extravaganza. Double cool with knobs!  
If I hadn't been so distraught I would have yelled out 'Phwoar..."  
And so just now I snuck into the house at the late hour of 3:00 am and crept up the stairs into my bed. And the ancients are none the wiser. I am so fabulously sneaky...and a queen of snogging!

**3:05 am**

Something moved outside my door and I quickly went into 'false slumber mode'

**3:10 am**

It was only Libbs. Bless her.  
"Ginger, I can't sleep. Bad dreams."  
"Go see mum then, Libbs."  
She slapped me, "Bad boy! No!I sleep with you!"  
And then she climbed into bed with me, equipt with pantalitzer, scuba diving barbie and what felt like Muttis giganticamus bra.

**Sunday May 8th**

**In my room**

**11:00 am**

All aloney on my owny. None of my so-called mates have rang. Except for Jas who rang at 10. But I still havn't forgiven her for her attitude yesterday.

**11:05 am**

What am I going to do about Dave?

**11:10 am**

We were in that closet snogging for a good hour. Does he expect us to get married now?

**11:15 am**

And what am I to do about my vacation to Hamburgeragogo land? Quest-que-ce la point without masimo (ie. Italiano Pratio) there?

**12:00 pm**

Perhaps I can convince the ancients to let me stay behind.

**12:02 pm**

Hahahahaha. For a moment there I actually believed they would let me.

**12:05 pm**

Life is crap.

**1:00 pm**

Rang Rosie.  
"Hello?"  
"RoRo? It's Gee."  
"Gee-good I was about to call you. Big news!"  
"What?"  
"I-I. Oh. I-just. I-"  
"Rosie, you're dithering..."  
"I GOT TO TEN ON THE SNOGGING SCALE WITH SVEN!" She blurted  
"Non."  
"Oui."  
"Non."  
"Oui!"  
"So you-?"  
"Yes!"  
"And you-?"  
"Yes!"  
"And...the whole way?"  
"YES!"

**3:00 pm**

Emergency ace gang meeting at my house.  
Jas, Rosie, Ellen, Jools and Mabs all came.  
Rosie was blushing like a...mad blushing thing.  
All of us sat in silence for quite a while, then Jools said,

"So how was it?"  
Rosie blushed and didn't look at us all in the eyes at first,  
"Very nice."  
A few more moments of silence then Granny Jas piped up,  
"You're only 16, Rosie!"  
"Shut it Granny Jas." I said  
She glared at me and then looked at Rosie with what she must have thought looked like an understanding look.  
"Describe it all...every bit!" I said breaking the tension.  
And after that it was smooth sailing. Rosie stopped blushing and told us everything while  
the rest of us listened with intensosity as we stuffed cheesy snacks in our faces.  
"And thats how it happened." She finished with a sigh, "Who knew I'd be the first."  
"Who knew it would be with Sven!" I laughed. I am so full of hilarity it cracks me up.  
Everyone laughed and even Rosie giggled a little.  
"Did he say 'Oh Ja' much as it was going on?" I added and we all laughed a little more.  
We ended the meeting by each taking turns saying where we'd gotten to so far on the  
snogging scale.  
"Rosie we know got to ten. Ellen?"  
"Six and 1/4, Lip nibbling with Dave the laugh." She looked a little sad at this and I put an arm around her, trying to make up for my guiltosity.  
"Lezzie." Jas muttered.  
"You're just jealous." I stuck my tongue out. "How about you Jools? How far have you gotten with Rollo?"  
"Six, tongues."  
"Mabs?"  
"Only five," She looked a little ashamed, "I havn't really had a steady boyfriend."  
"Jas?" I smirked, "How far has Hunky and Po gotten to?"  
"Seven." She answered promptly, "What about you Gee?"  
"Well as of last night I am up to seven and a half."  
"Theres no seven and a half." Jas scoffed.  
"Thats because I just added it in. Its closet snogging. And in closet snogging you do everything up to number seven...only in a closet" I told them.  
They all blinked at me like five little goosegogs.  
"Who'd you get to seven and a half with then?" Asked Rosie.  
"Uh..." I looked at Ellen, I couldn't say Dave the laugh infront of her. Jas was looking at me in a looking at me kind of way and I wanted to strangle her.  
"...Masimo!" I said the first thing that came to my mind.  
They all looked very suprised to hear this, even Jas, whom I thought for sure would not believe it.

**In bed**

**11:00 pm**

Emergency snogging scale update:  
**(1)** Holding Hands  
**(2)** Arm around  
**(3)** Good-night kiss  
**(4)** Kiss lasting for 3 minutes without a breath.  
**(5)** Open-mouth kissing  
**(6)** Tongues  
**(6 1/4)** Lip Nibbling  
**(6 1/2)** Ear Snogging  
**(7)** Upper body fondling-Outdoors  
**(7 1/2)** Closet Snogging  
**(8)** Upper body fondling-Indoors (in bed)  
**(9)** Below waist activity (b.w.a) and  
**(10)** The full monty (ie. Rosie & Sven)

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A/N  
Hey guys! Thanks for reading I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter! There is many more to come! Please review if you liked it and review if you didnt lol.  
Thanks alot. 

Emma


	2. Chapter two

Here comes the next bit...

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**Monday May 9th  
**

**8:40 am  
**  
Overslept only a little...okay alot. Stocking. Skirt. Blouse. Lippy. Hair. Foundation.

**8:55 am **

Up the hill to Jas'.  
Run, run. Pant, pant.  
Jas was standing at her gate looking very miffed indeed.  
"Late again." She said.  
I didn't justify that with an answer. Stupid Huffyknickers.  
Up the hill more to school.  
Run, run. Pant, pant.

**9:05 am**

Hawkeye alert!  
"Georgia and Jasmine, you are late." She said in a very Hawkyeish voice.  
"Sorry Ms. Heaton." Jas put on a sweet fake smile and fluttered her eyelashes.  
"Oh alright, head into assembly Jasmine. Georgia you have detention."  
WHAT? This is unfair, unjust, un...er...nice  
"I am dreadfully sorry as well, Ms. Heaton." And I smiled my real smile. Tongue not behind teeth and nose flaring like mad.  
"Detention." She said more firmly. "Now get to assembly."  
"Yes." I grumbled. Never again would I smile with authenticosity, it only caused trouble.  
Also, how am I supposed to attract any sex gods when I smile like that? A gorgey foxwood boy, though it is very rare to find a good looking one, could walk by and see my nose throwing caution to the wind and tell all his sex god mates about it (my nose not the wind).

**r.e.**

**2:00 pm **

Ms. Wilson is so clueless it is actually quite funny. In class Ellen proved her theory of being able to curl her hair in the middle of Ms. Wilsons lecture on safe sex.  
Rosie sent me a note,

_Do you think people know about Sven and I? _

I wrote back,

_No. Only the fab five I'm sure.  
By-the-by, 10 on the snogging scale can now also be referred to as 'Rosie and Sven level' _

She gave me the special cross-eyed look of approval and laughed.

Soon I had recieved a note from Katie Steadman, 

_Is it true you were closet snogging with Masimo?_

Oh mondieu.

_Uh...where did you hear that? _

_Jas told me at lunch break._

Of course, I should have known that it would be broadcasted all over school by now compliments of Radio Jas.

_So is it true?_

_No. Now please leave me alone, I'm trying to listen to this lecture._

She only looked at me and laughed.  
Is it so hard to believe that I would like to pay attention in a class?

**3:30 pm**

Walking home with the ace gang.  
"Jas did you tell Katie Steadman about you and Masimo?"  
I asked once the others had left us.  
"Yes is there a problem with that?"  
Ugh. She is so unbelieveably daft sometimes!  
I walked away from her and finished the walk home alone.

**6:00 pm**

Jas rang.  
"Georgia I'm sorry."  
I didn't answer her. Prat.  
"I didn't think that you wouldn't want it told."  
"Did you tell about Rosie and Sven?"  
"Thats different."  
"How?"  
"Thats much more...private than closet snogging."  
"It's still my business Jas!" And I hung up on Wise woman of the woods. Who is she to go and broadcast my closet snogging session with Masimo over Radio Jas? Even if it isn't true.

**Wednesday May 11th**

**7:00 pm**

At stalag 14 today Wet Lindsay came up to me. She looked especially wet today, and especially angry.  
"Keep your hands off my boyfriend." She said.  
"How can I keep them off if theyve never been on?"  
"I've heard the rumors...you're a cheap little lady of the night."  
Hahahahahahahahahahaha Lady of the night!

**Thursday May 12th**

**3:30 pm **

Decided to forgive Jas as wedown the hill from school. But only because I had an item of sheer desperadoes to discuss with her.  
"What am I going to do?"  
"About what?"  
"Hamburgeragogo land?"  
"Uh..."  
"Italiano Pratioisn't there! And that was the only point I wanted to go."  
"Well..."  
"Should I ask my parents if I can stay?"  
"Mabye..."  
"I mean do you think they'd say yes?"  
"Georgia can I get a word in?  
Pfft. Who was she to talk? This was probably the first time I've ever gotten a proper sentance in without Jas interupting me about Hunky or veggies or twigs.  
"Fine. What do you have to say?"  
"I think you should go for vacation. It's only a month."  
I gave her my best disaproving look.  
"Fine! You asked for my advice and I gave it to you! Do what you want!"  
"Wouldn't you miss me, Jassyknickers?" I put my arm round her shoulder.  
"Get off me, lezzie!"  
"Oh Jas, you know you love me." I made kissing noises in her ear.  
"Ahhh."  
"What would you do without me?"  
"Lead a normal life."

**Out front**

**5:00 pm **

Took Angus and Gordy (and Libby) for a walk on their leeshes. Gordy is getting bigger and bigger every moment now.  
"Bad boy! Take us to the fire hydrant-have to pee!"  
"Libbs, I'll take you back inside to use the toilet like a human."  
"NO! Hydrant!"  
And so I took the three loons to the fire hydrant and Libby pulled down her pants, lifted her leg and began to pee. Sadly she is not a dog and is not able to pee on fire hydrants without peeing on herself as well.  
Then-OH NO!-Italiano Pratio came around the corner on his scooter.  
"Ciao." He said, he looked serious.  
"Ciao." I answered back.  
He looked briefly at Libby, shook his head and laughed, then became serious again.  
Good grief.  
"Georgia, have you been telling people we...how you say...snogged?"  
"NO!" I blurted.  
"Because Lindsay will not talk to me. She says that people at school are saying this."  
I gave him my most appalled look (also remembering to suck in my nostrils)  
"I can't believe you would even think I would start a rumor like that! Ciao." And I walked away with my nose in the air and shoulders hunched (in pride...er)

**6:00 pm**

Rang Jas.  
"Jas?"  
"Yes?"  
"Guess who I just ran into?"  
"Masimo."  
I was suprised for a moment she guessed correctly so soon.  
"Yes. And he acused me of starting a rumor about me and him snogging!"  
"Well...you did." She said.  
Oh thank you very much, fruit and veg queen.  
"Did you really do seven and a half with Masimo?" She aske suddenly.  
"...No."  
"Then who with?"  
Should I tell her? Could I trust her after the last Radio Jas incident?  
"Dave the Laugh." I admitted.  
Silence.  
"Jas?"  
"Yes?"  
"Where have you gone?"  
"No where."  
"Then how come you are not speaking?"  
"Because I don't want to speak to a backstabber."  
I hung up on her.

**10:00 pm**

Decided to ask the ancients if I could stay while they go to Hamburgeragogo.  
Its almost 99.9999 certain that their answer will be no. But a girl of my charm could persuade them...(not)

"Mutti?"  
"Mmhmm?" She was trying to put Libby in her jimjams, _trying_.  
"I was wondering...if...mabye...I didn't go to Hamburgeragogo."  
She stopped dressing Libby and looked at me in a looking at me kind of way.  
Silence.  
"Well...?"  
"That might not be a bad idea."  
WHAT! I wanted to yell. But I stay in a state of calmosity.  
"Gordy is still just a kitty, he will need looking after. You are 16 afterall, and are...er...sort of responsible..."  
I resent that.  
"And it would be nice to have a vacation just me and your father."  
"What about Libbs?"  
"She could stay with Aunt Kath. She is coming here for a visit and is stopping by for our going away party on friday. She could take Libby home with her."  
I tried not to look too hopeful, if I did she would for surely take this away from me.  
"Tell you what...I will discuss it with your father."  
"Thank you Mutti. I will show you that I am a very responsible young woman full with sophisticosity and all that jazz..." And I kissed her on the cheek.

**10:15 pm **

YESSSSSSSSSSS!  
Three weeks in the house-ALONE! No ancients, no Libby! No loons in a loon pack popping round at every moment (ie. Uncle Eddie and 'the lads')

**10:30 pm **

I can hear mutti and vati downstairs arguing.  
"Wouldn't it be nice to have a vacation to ourselves, honey?" Mutti said.  
I pictured myself with a giant # 1 finger and a sports jersey sitting in a crowd cheering,  
"GO MUTTI!"  
"She cannot stay alone for a month!"  
"We can shorten the vacation to two weeks."  
"Thats not nearly long enough to go to a whole nother continent."  
"Well then three weeks. C'mon, Bob, think about it."  
"lets get it onnnnn." I heard Libby sing downstairs and tried very very hard not to laugh.  
And failed.  
"She is not responsible enough. She is a sixteen year old girl. All she cares about is makeup and boys and friends. Can she really be trusted to manage a household for three weeks?"  
"She is a young woman now."  
"She is a child. An irresponsible child."  
Cheers. Thanks Dad.

**Friday May 13th**

**8:00 am**

YESSSS! Fabbity Fab! Double cool with knobs!  
Mutti finally convinced Vati and I am going to have the house to myself for THREE WEEKS!

"You have to promise us no parties while we're gone." Dad said over breakfast.  
"I promise." I said.

**8:10 am**

Think of the fab parties I can throw!

**9:00am**

Told the girls the good news in assembly.  
"That's amazing, Gee! Think of all the parties!" Rosie exclaimed.  
"Just what I was thinking." I said.

**Blodge**

**1:00 pm**

Said hello to Rover my pickled vole friend. I told him the good news.  
"Three weeks alone, Rover! Is that not the fabbiest new you heard all your life?"  
He bobbed around a little in his jar and I figured that meant yes.

**4:00 pm**

The fly in the ointment is that tonight Mutti and Vati are throwing a going away party at our house and that means the loons will soon be arriving. Including-erlack-Cousin James.  
If he tries his incestual moves on me I will be forced to kill him.  
Mutti said I could invite a friend.  
I thought of Jas.  
But then...I should invitea friend who could be intimidating to James.  
Jas would be able to bore even him to death, but not beat him up. Which is sad because he has the strength of a sickly hamster.  
Then I thought of Dave the L. He had scared Mark big gob so much once that he had come to apologize personally for the basooma incident.

**4:30 pm**

Rang Dave.  
"Dave?"  
"Hey, sexy. Whats up?"  
"I was wondering if you would like to come round for a party at my house."  
"Ooer, you just cant get enough of me can you? Alright, let me do my lip excercises first."  
Haha. He is such a laugh. And very groovy looking. But a friend only. A friend with benifits?  
"Well, this isn't that sort of party. Its a going away party for my parents and my mutti said I could invite a friend."  
"Oh. Where are your parents going?"  
"Hamburgeragogoland."  
"Oh yes...you're going too arn't you?"  
"No! Not anymore!"  
"Alright, I have something to do at home. Can I come round at 8?"  
"Sure." But I wondered how I would keep James off of me for three hours.  
"See you then sex kitty."

**5:00 pm**

Uncle Eddie and 'the lads' arrived. Along with Aunt Kath, Grandpa and a few of Muttis short skirt clad friends.  
It was a crime to humanity for people so old to be wearing such provacative clothing.  
I looked at mutti with a miserable expression.  
"Dont worry, Gee, James will be here soon. Then you can have fun."  
If only you knew Mutti. If only you knew.

**5:15 pm**

Cousin James arrived. The first thing he did when he walked in was lick his lips at me.  
Erlack a pongoes.  
He has gotten incredibly spotty and greasy. Triple ew.  
"Hey Georgie!" He said. "We are going to have fun!"  
Lord Buddha save me.

Mutti told us to go up to my room and find something to do,  
For once in my life I wanted to stay and chat with uncle eddie and even...grandpa.  
Chatting with the criminally insane is much better than incest.

**6:00 pm**

Oh no.  
The second we entered my room James asked to play tickly bears.  
"No." I said.  
"Please."  
"We're too old, James."  
"No we're not. You're never too old for tickly bears."  
"NO!" And I took out a magazine. Mabye if I ignore-voused him, he would go away.  
But he came at me anyway and began to tickle me.  
"Leave me alone James."  
Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. "Leave me alone". "Leave me alone". "Leave me alone".  
Then he did the most horrifying thing. He rested his hand on my left nunga!  
Merde.  
I jumped away as fast as possible.  
My nungas were getting out of hand. They attract too many unwanted people such as cousins, mimes and math oberfurhers/part time lesbians.  
"Don't touch me James!"  
"It was a mistake, my hand slipped."  
HAHAHAHA-yeah right.  
After that he turned off the lights and we played chase in the dark. I only agreed to this game because I knew that if I found a good hiding place he would never be able tofind me in the dark. I hid in my closet, behind my old Sex god shrine.

**6:15 pm  
**  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
I am scarred for life! I am traumitized! I am going to be ruined and have to be shipped off to a loony house to live with grandpa!  
James kissed me! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
After a long time of searching the room he came into the closet and somehow found my mouth. He put it on mine and even tried to stick his tongue in my mouth-erlack!  
I shoved him off and ran out of my room. Now I am hiding in the airing cupboard.  
"Georgia!" He yelled.  
"Georgia come out!"

**7:00pm **

I came out when I was sure James was downstairs. It smelled of dust and Libbys pooey knickers in there. Probably because it was Libbys favourite hiding place as well.  
I wentback into my room and shut the door.  
I wish I had a lock.  
Would itbe so much for my parents to buy me a lock?

**7:30 pm**

So bored.There is alot of noise and music coming from downstairs and I can hear Libby singing, 'Lets get it onnnnnnn." To all our guests downstairs. How nice. Mabye James will think its a come on and move on to his other cousin.  
Erlack! Incest and Pedephilia!  
I want to go downstairs as it is incredibly boring up here. But I have no choice as James will be down there. So I just have to wait here until Dave shows up in half an hour.

**7:45 pm**

Forced to do German homework.  
At least my traumatized mind was able to take a break as Ireminded myself of Herr Kamyers pasty legs and tartan socks!  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  
Then I remembered the horny cousin downstairs and stopped laughing.  
I wonder if our children would have problems like three eyes andtwo toes or something?  
SHUT UP BRAIN-SHUT UP!

**8:00 pm**

FINALLY Dave the L. Arrived.  
"Hi gorgeous." He said, as I answered the door. He handed me a big bouquet of flowers.  
How sweet.  
"Thank you so much Dave, theyre beautiful."  
"So are you. Is all your family in there?"  
"Pretty much. Even my incestuous cousin."  
"Incestuous cousin?"  
I told him the story.  
"Erlack! Do you want me to tell him off?"  
"No...but...you could. You know, mabye..." I was dithering like Ellen for gods sakes.  
"...Pretend to be your boyfriend?"  
"Yes."  
"Sure. As long as I can come in, its quite nippy noodles out here."

We walked into the front room and everyone looked over.  
"Who is this lad Georgia?" Uncle Eddie asked.  
"This is Dave." I said to everyone, smirking at James who was glaring at Dave.  
"Hi Dave, how are you doing?" Mutti asked, her face was a little red. Oh great, a drunk mutti was on the way.  
I sat down beside cousin James on the sofa.  
"Georgia, Im sorry about earlier but-"  
Dave sat in between me and James, put his arm around me and then turned to James and smiled smugly.  
James back off looking angry.  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Fantastic. I love you Dave!...er...in a friendly way (I think).

**9:00 pm**

Mutti suggested the three of us go up to my room. I was a little nervous, Dave had never seen my room. Before I let them up I quickly ran up and checked that nothing embarassing was out and about. Such as knickers, sanitary towels or Libbys pooey things.  
"So this is your room." Dave said, looking around and smiling.  
"Ive been in it many times." James blurted.  
"Well of course you would have because you are her _cousin_." He put alot of emphasis on the word cousin and I thought I could kiss him (Dave not James).  
And I did.  
While James sat in the corner I took Dave onto my bed and began snogging, we didn't go past 4 (kiss lasting for three minutes without taking a breath.) because my disgusting cousin was there. I just wanted to make a point. Not give him a porno.

**9:10 pm**

James left!  
HAHAHAHAHAHA. YESSS!  
"Thanks so much, Dave."  
"No prob."  
Silence.  
"Wanna snog?" He asked.  
"Ok."  
And snog we did. Snog we did indeed.

**1:00 am**

The ancients friends and family (including cousin james thank god) have all left. And so has Dave. Tonight turned out to be really nice.  
I got up to 8 on the snogging scale! (Upper body fondling-indoor in bed)  
And I may add another level to the scale. Dave didn't just snog my mouth. He snogged my shoulders, neck, ear lobe, forehead and on my collar bone whatsit. I would add that as 8 and a half but I don't know what to name it. Let me sleep on it.

**1:45 pm**

I've got it! Body snogging. Its perfect.

**Saturday May 14th**

**11:30am**

Rang Jas.  
"Hello?"  
"Jas?"  
"Gee?"  
"I had Dave the laughround last night."  
"Why?"  
"To intimidate my disgusticamus incestual cousin."  
"Oh yes."  
"And..."  
"...and what?"  
"And we snogged."  
Silence.  
"Jas?"  
"What?"  
"Don't be mad...I know, I know. I'm a backstabber. But Ellen should be over Dave by now, it wasalmost asquillion years ago!"  
"Not that long, we wouldn't be alive."  
Honestly, sometimes she is so dim.  
"ANYWAY,I've added a new number to the snogging scale."  
"_Another one_? You just added 7 1/2."  
"I know, I know. But I just keep getting suprised.Boys are suprising."  
"I guess...Ok what is it?"  
"8 1/2, Body snogging."  
"Ooer...sounds cool."  
"It was. He snogged my neck, shoulders, collar bone whatsit, forehead etc..."  
"Woah."  
"So, spread the word to the ace gang."  
"Okay-wait!"  
"What?"  
"What am I going to tell them? Theyre going to want to know how you came up with this one. Should I say Masimo again?"  
"No! You got me into trouble with that one."  
"You shouldnt've said it in the first place."  
"Jas?"  
"Shut up."  
"Fine." Oh no, here comes Huffyknickers.  
"Just tell them you and Tom did 8 1/2."  
"NO!"  
"Why not?"  
"Cause I'm not a lady of the night!"  
I hung up on her.

**12:00 pm**

So Jassyknickers thinks I'm a 'lady of the night' eh? Hmpf. Lady of the night, shes become as much of a drip as Lindsay. I'm going to start calling her 'Wet Jas.'  
Or 'Wet knickers.' Yes thats a good one.

**12:45 pm**

I snuggled into bed again and got a nasty suprise. Apparently Libby ate something that didnt settle with her well last night andI have a pukey-bed now. Fanbloodytastic.

**5:00 pm**

Emergency snogging scale update:  
**(1)** Holding Hands  
**(2)** Arm around  
**(3)** Good-night kiss  
**(4)** Kiss lasting for 3 minutes without a breath.  
**(5)** Open-mouth kissing  
**(6)** Tongues  
**(6 1/4)** Lip Nibbling  
**(6 1/2)** Ear Snogging  
**(7)** Upper body fondling-Outdoors  
**(7 1/2)** Closet Snogging  
**(8)** Upper body fondling-Indoors (in bed)  
**(8 1/2) **Body snogging  
**(9)** Below waist activity (b.w.a) and  
**(10)** The full monty (ie. Rosie & Sven)

* * *

Hey I hope you liked it!  
Review if you did!  
More coming soon! 


	3. Chapter three

NEXT...

* * *

**Sunday May 15th **

Faretheewell Ancients.

**9:00 am**

Yesss! The Ancients have left the building! Aunt Kath took Libbs with her and the only loons in the loon pack left are Angus and Gordy, whom can be controlled...sort of.

Mutti got all teary before they left,

"Oh my little Georgie, all grown up! She's staying home all alone!" She came over and hugged me with one of those bone crushing hugs that only a mutti can give, and her basoomas arn't small.

"Yes, now, I think you two should get on your way...You'll miss your plane." I said. In a moment of sheer desperadoes, you must be nice to your parents, or they'll change their mind.

"Of course. Now we've left you a lot of money to get you through the three weeks...oh Bob, three weeks. How can we leave?"

He grunted in a disgruntled vati kind of way, "Thats what I said but its too late now."

"Yes I suppose. Now Georgia, make sure you make it to school everyday too. It's important!"

Meanwhile, I was not listening to loon leader and his hand maiden loonette speak because I was thinking of all the pounders waiting for me on the kitchen table.

"Don't spend all the money on lippy now, Georgia." Vati said all important-like.

Poo. How does he read minds? Why can't I read minds? I wish I could...then I could find out really interesting things like what actually does go on in Jas' mind and what the hell boys mean by 'see you later'

"Of course, V." I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I mean it Gee, we left you a good deal of money and I want it to be only spent on food and necesities like loo paper and cat food and..."

"Yes, yes. Now _please_ would you leave?"

They both sighed, and Mutti gave me one last tearful hug.

"Goodbye darling." And they were off.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Oh yes! This is AMAZING! This is brilliant this is fabnostic! This is Hipstinorticsalom...er...See I'm so excited I'm making up words!

**11:00 am**

Rang Jas.  
"Hello?"  
"Jas? The ancients are gone!"  
"Ooer...what are you going to do first?"  
"EVERYTHING!"

**12:00 pm**

Bored. Bored. Bored. Sitting in my room alone.  
It can be very boring being indepentdant...unless you plan ahead. Which I havnt.  
Ho hum pigs bum.

**3:45 pm**

Went for a walk in the park. Decided I should try and get back into shape if I'm ever going to get to 'Rosie & Sven'.

**4:00 pm**

This has made me think. Oh mon dieu.  
When am I going to be ready for 'Rosie & Sven' (and when I say 'Rosie and Sven' I mean number 10 on the snogging scale...obviously)

**4:05 pm**

I mean its a big decision...who would I do 'Rosie and Sven' with?

**4:07 pm**

Hahahahaha. Just realized how wrong that sounded.

**4:24 pm**

Oh fanbloodytastic. Mark big gob and his idiot mates are playing football near me.  
He pretended to kick the ball off the sidelines and it rolled to my feet.  
"I'll get it!" He yelled, winking and laughing at his friends.  
Oh Buddha...what patethicosity.  
"Hey, Georgia. You look cool, how have you been?" He asked.  
"Fine." I answered with glaciosity.  
And as I walked away he put his hand on my bottom!  
ON MY BOTTOM!  
What? Now not only are my nungas a hazard to society, now my botty is attracting lads (and part time lesbians-I will not forget the yoga incident in the gymnasium) that are undesireable.  
I slapped him.  
Hadihaha. You should have seen his face.  
"Why did you slap me?" He asked, holding his face.  
"Because I don't like hands on my bottom thank you very much!"  
"Well your asking for it the way it looks!"  
What in the name of the popes trousers is he talking about. (I paused for a moment to ponder if the pope did wear trousers...hmm...)  
"You are disgusting." I spat at him. Thats right I spat. Not intentionally, spit just came out.  
"No you are disgusting!"  
"Look, Im sorry that I spat on you. It was an accident."  
"No, girls like you are disgusting. Girls who parade around in skimpy little outfits and then get mad when a guy notices."  
I wanted to slap him again. I could feel the sister suffragette coming out in me...or at least Christina Aguleria.  
"So is it too much to ask to live in a world where women can wear what they want to wear without being objectified by stupid prats like you?"  
He looked like I had slapped him again. Even I was a little amazed at the wisdomosity that came from my mouth, but then again...it is me and I am just full of wisdomosity (er...)  
"Slut." He said and walked back to his mates.  
How dare he? If anyone was a slut it was him. Hes the one putting his hand on poor defenseless midget girls basoomas in any given alley way and sticking his giganticamus gob on any girl who will come within a thirty foot radius of him.  
I should take the high road...but thats just not good enough. So I picked up a handful of mud and threw it at the back of his head. Then I ran away, but as I ran I yelled,  
"You are ugly! And you snog terribly! And your mouth is too big for your head! And you date midgets!"

**At home  
**  
**4:50 pm **

At home now, safe from any other prat boy who decides to pay a visit to my bottom. I may never be able to leave the house again now, as Big gob will have all his idiot mates stationed around my house waiting till I come out.

**6:00 pm**

Rang Rosie.  
"Hello?"  
"I will never be able to leave the house."  
"Why?"  
I told her the story from the park.  
"Haha! Good going, Gee. You should be one of those feminist whatsits."  
"Why?"  
"I don't know..."  
"Does that mean I'd have to grow out my armpit hair and braid it?"  
"Erlack! I don't think so! I really hope not!"

**6:50 pm**

Stomach rumbling. What to do? Should I use the money? I was planning on just eating bits of food left over in the house in order to save money for lippy and mascara and things for all the fantastic parties I will be throwing. I'm going to look in the fridge.

**6:55 pm**

There is a half eaten jammy dodger (compliments of Liberty Nicholson) and a tin of moldy beans.

**7:00 pm**

So my parents just expected me to order out the whole time they are gone? Are they trying to fatten me up? Is it like hansel and gretal? Probably not because I don't think Vati would fit in the oven.

**7:30 pm**

Ordered pizza.

**8:00 pm**

Phwoar! The pizza delivery guy was quite gorgey. Not exactly sex god material. But definately gorgey. He said,  
"Hi. Small pepperoni with double cheese?"  
I smiled all attractively with my teethy thing I do and the nose sucky thing and he smiled back.  
"Yes thank you. It smells delicious." I said.  
He smiled back, and we stared at eachother for a moment. Then he snapped out of it and said,  
"Oh-yeah...er...here you go." And he handed it to me.  
I payed him and he turned around.  
"Wait! Whats your name?" I called out.  
"Brenden!"  
Hmmm...Brenden. He was pretty yummy scrumboes. But I wouldn't date a pizza guy.  
I have his name now so I can request him when I call. He will be great fun to flirt with.

**8:30 pm**

Yum Yum! Pizzas done!  
Haha I rhymed...sort of.  
I ate the entire pizza! The entire small pizza, thats seven slices! So much for my run today. I could be like that guy that says, 'I can't belive I ate the whooole thing.'  
Hahahahahahahahaha.

**12:00 am**

I can't sleep. Its a little creepy being in my big house all alone. Theres not even any Libby to crawl into my bed with all her 'fwiends'. But there still is Angus and Gordy, theyre both scratching away at my feet.

**Monday May 16th**

**8:00 am**

Ugh! I don't want school today. This is like time off, I should be having a vacation. Its not like they want me there anyways. Slim hates me and Hawkeye looks for reasons to torture me.

**8:20 am **

Rang Jas.  
"Jas?"  
"Georgia...where are you! We're going to be late for school."  
"I don't want school."  
"But we have to go."  
"Oh c'mon, Wet knickers, live a little. Lets bunk off school today. Come round my house and we'll have loads of fun. We can invite Rosie and Ellen and Jools too."  
"Won't it look suspicious if all of us are not there?"  
"We could just get Sarah or Mabs to tell them we all came over with scurvy or something...and with the kind of food I have in my house, or lack there of, thats not too short from the truth."  
"I don't know, Gee...we might miss something important."  
Hahaha, important?  
"Ha! Like what? Slim jiggling in a new direction today? Elvis got a new hat to cover his flat head? Bummer twins..."  
"Okay! Okay! I'll come round!"  
"Yes! You are my bestest pally I love you Jassy!"  
"Don't start."

**8:30 am**

Rang Rosie, Ellen and Jools just before they left.  
They're all chalked full of excitosity and Jools, who lives next to Mabs is going to tell her the plan on what to say.

**9:00 am**

Everyone arrived!  
Rosie brought cheesy snacks and fizzy drinks, Ellen brought romantic-comedies and Jools brought more cheesy snacks and fizzy drinks.  
"We're going to order pizza at lunch and request, Brenden, the gorgey-porgey pizza delivery guy!" I told them.  
"Ooer, He's delivered to my house before. He is pretty good looking." Said Ellen, well she does seem to like my cast offs.  
"I complemented him on his hair and he said that I could put the bill on a tab for next time!" She told us, we all laughed.  
"Boys can be so incredibly dim! You can make them do anything!" I said.  
"Lets try!" Rosie suggested.  
"Try what?"  
"An experiment."  
"What do you mean an experiment."  
Jas piped in, "Experiment means..."  
"I _know_ what experiment means! What kind of experiment!"  
"You know, we'll get all pretty and cool looking and when he comes round we'll invite him in and see if we can make him do things!" Rosie explained.  
"Ooer, what kind of things?"  
Rosie hit me with a pillow, ouch.  
"Not _those_ kind of things...just stuff. Like ask him to take out the trash or give you a neck massage."  
We all broke out into a laughing fit, except Wet knickers who looked at us and said,  
"Thats really mean! You can't just manipulate him like that!"  
"C'mon Jas its an experiment! Its for the good of womankind!" Jools said.  
"Its still not right."  
"Shut up, oh wet knickered one, we're doing it."  
She was a little huffy after that, but she gave in. We watched romantic-comedies and ate cheesy snacks the rest of the morning while also making plans about what to do when Brenden comes round.

**12:00 pm**

We're all huddled around the phone while I call the pizza place. The girls are giggling like loons and I told them to shut up, but then the person on the phone got offended and almost hung up.  
"No-No I'm sorry, I was talking to my friends they're being loud. Yes, thats right, terribly sorry. Anyway, can I get a large pepperoni and double cheese pizza-"  
"Don't get double cheese its fattening!" Jas yelled.  
"Shut up!"  
And then that started off the idiot on the phone again.  
"That was my friend again, sorry. Yes, uh-huh. Very disrespectful, I know. Now could you please have that delivered ASAP and uh...could we request Brenden. Oh you have to check if hes working? He might be at school? He might be at school..." I repeated to the girls, and they all crossed their fingers. He's working? Awesome! Tell him we will see him soon." I hung up and we went insane.We ran up to my bedroom and began making ourselves look irresistable.  
I was throwing all my clothes out on to the floor for them to find something to wear while Jas starting curling her hair with a curling iron for bouncibility and Ellen and Jools began to apply makeup. I picked out a black low cut shirt and a very short blue skirt.  
At least I was tasteful in my wardrobe, Jas was dressing insanely. For someone who did not want to do this experiment, she sure wanted to do it. Her skirt was so short it showed her giganticamus knickers when she bent over.  
"How do I look?" She turned around for us.  
"Well you shouldnt bend over because those knickers cant be much of a turn on." I said.  
She threw a brush at me. Harrassment!  
When we were all dressed, makeup applied (we all went for the sexy smoky but still natural look) and our hair was full of bouncibility to the max we sat in my room and waited until we heard the door bell.

**12:40 pm**

The doorbell rang! We all ran down like frantic loons, tripping over ourselves. I got to the door and put on my attractive smile, then opened it.  
"Hello, Brenden." I said, putting my teeth behind my tongue-I mean tongue behind my teeth haha.  
He looked a little flustered when he saw us all, and got red in the face.  
"Hi girls, uh...you ordered, uh...um..." He was a little distracted. It was working!  
"Large pepperoni with double cheese?" Ellen said from behind me.  
"Yes, thats it." He laughed nervously, and then I caught him sneaking a glance at my basoomas. In any other case I would be insulted, but this was an experiment and so I kept my coolishness.  
"Thanks so much, Brenden." I touched his arm, "Listen, we were just bunking off school today to hang out...do you want to join us?"  
He became red in the face again and then said, "Well, that would be cool. I have an hour break after this."  
And so we invited him in to the front room.  
I put the pizza on the table in front of us as he sat down on the sofa.  
I nudged Jas, "Do something." I whispered.  
She looked hesitant for a moment, then went to sit down on the opposite side of him, and as she did she pretended (not well) to fall a little so that she was on his knee for a moment.  
"Jas you little 'lady of the night'" I whispered and then began laughing like a loon. Then everyone looked at me. "Uh...yes, pizza!" And I sat down beside Brenden and opened the pizza box.  
He turned towards me and I turned towards him, I could see the rest of the ace gang watching over our shoulders.  
"Thank you for inviting me over, Georgia, it was very nice of you." He said, but he would not stop glancing down at my nungas...it was getting a little annoying.  
I thought of what to do next,  
"Would you like some then?" I asked.  
"What?" He jumped up likea jumpy thing and the rest of the girls giggled.  
"Some Pizza I mean..." I said, pointing to the box.  
"Oh-oh right. Ha. Sure." He said and grabbed some pizza from the box. We all ate a little pizza and then we had run out of ideas for the experiment.  
"Er...girls, could I see you all in the kitchen?" I asked.  
They all followed me out of the living room and Jools said to Brenden,  
"Now don't go anywhere. We'll be right back."  
When we were all in the kitchen I turned to them,  
"What now? I've ran out of ideas."  
Jas was looking worried, "We shouldn't do this anymore. Its wrong. Besides what if hes like an axe-murderer or a nympho or something...?"  
"Jas." I said all important like, "He's a bloke...of course hes a nympho!"  
"Show him your nungas, Gee!" Rosie giggled.  
I laughed, "Hahaha, yeah right! You do it!"  
"No way...yours are the biggest." Oh great, here we go again.  
"We could start out by asking if he has a girlfriend..." Ellen suggested.  
"Yeah."  
"And we definately need more innuendos, that wasgood one with the 'would you like some?' thing before, Gee."  
"Honestly you guys, this is sick."  
"Jas, you didn't think it was so sick when you were practically using him as an armchair."  
She scoffed in her little Jassyknicker scoffy kind of way that only wet knickers herself can accomplish.  
"How about we do the whole 'is it hot in here or is just me?' thing and take off our sweaters."  
"Oh yeah, that wont look obvious. All five of us taking off our jumpers at once." Jools said, rolling her eyes.  
"True."  
"We could just be straightforward," I suggested. "You know, Dave the laugh said guys like things more straightforward." I said and Ellen became a little sad. Bullocks.

So we went back out to Brenden and found that he had eaten 3 more slices while we had been gone. Huh.  
All of us were silent, we didn't know what to do. I panicked,  
"Is it girlfriend in here or is it just me?" I sputtered.  
"I mean, Is it hot in here or is it just your girlfriend?" I blurted again.  
"What?" He asked and I could feel Jas hitting her forehead behind me. Oh god, now hes going to think I'm insane and a lezzie.  
"I meant to say...do you have a girlfriend, and is it hot in here at the same time and it came out wrong. Haha." I laughed nervously.  
"Oh...well, no. I don't have a girlfriend. And yes it is a little hot."  
Jools took off her jumper behind me, good. subtle.  
Silence again. Oh no, the experiment was going down the drain. What could we do, what could we do? Suddenly Ellen blurted,  
"Wanna snog?"  
_Ohmygiddygod._ We all looked at her, appalled. She went for the straightforward suggestion then.  
"Sure." He said, becoming red again.  
"Oh no." She whispered in my ear, "What do I do...that just sort of...came out."  
"Just go with it I guess." She looked pretty worried but its her fault shes a little blurting blurter. Even I, the blurter of the hour, didn't sink as low as she had.  
"Uh...c'mon then." She said, and took his hand leading her up to my room. She threw us all a scared look as they got to the top of the stairs.  
"Oh my god." Rosie said  
"Oh my buddha." I added.  
"Oh my word." Jools said.  
"Shut up!" came Jas.  
"What are we going to do? Just wait?"  
"I guess so. I can't believe she just blurted it out like that." I said.  
Jas looked at me in a looking way, "Its your fault."  
"Why is it my fault!"  
"Cause you put the idea of being straightforward in her head and she panicked and couldn't think of anything else to say so she said that."  
"Oh right...ok, smashing. Can't find anyone to blame so you blame poor innocent Georgia. Cheers."  
"Will you two stop bickering?" Came Jools.  
And so we sat on the sofa and finished watching our romantic-comedies and waited.

**1:10 pm **

Waiting...

**1:30 pm **

Still waiting...

**1:40 pm**

Still waiting waitingly...  
"Its been an hour you know?" Came Rosie.  
"Do you think we should go up and knock or something...Brenden did say his break was only an hour." Jas said.  
"Yeah, probably, we don't want him to get fired." Said Jools.  
"Poo. We didn't even get to try and make him take out the trash or change Angus and Gordys litter or anything." I grumbled.  
We were all about to head up to get them when we heard them coming down the stairs, hand in hand. Brenden looked really happy and red, and Ellen looked...well...really happy and red. Only more giggly than him, which is a relief. Have you ever heard a man giggle?  
"Well...bye then everyone, I have to get back to work. Thanks for your number Ellen, I'll give you a call. It was fun." And he waved to all of us and left.  
The moment he was gone we all became dithering idiots.  
"What happened!"  
"What did you two dooo?"  
"You gave him your number?"  
"It was really fun." She said, smiling.  
"What did you get up to on the snogging scale."  
"Your new level Georgia, eight and a half."  
"Eight and a half? You only just met him!" Jas exclaimed.  
"No." She blushed, "He delivered pizza to me once before, remember?"

**In my room.**

**6:00 pm**

Mates went home. Alone to wonder about my place in the world...  
What is my purpose?  
To snog alot of boys?  
To make the world look better?  
To...uh...make people laugh?  
Yes! That's it. I'm here to make people laugh. I have found my calling.  
Fantastic! I am going to be a laughable laughing girl that-er-makes people laugh!  
They can start calling me Georgia the laugh, and I can marry Dave and we can be the  
'the laugh' family, and we can have kids who are laughs as well...all of them gorgeous with my eyes and Daves nose (obviously as mine is a hazard to society). They would have my hair and his smile and Ooer his body (if they were boys) and I have to see  
Daves mutti to see if she has a problem in the basooma department (aka. giganticamus)  
because if she does than our girls will 100 percentfor sure have problem basoomas, like mine. Too bad, I wanted to stop the giganticamus basooma gene with me, so that no more have to suffer.  
**  
6:45 pm**

That depends of course on if I marry Dave the L. Do I even have feelings for him? I thought we were just snogging partners, you know? As you, my little american chums, would call "Friends with benifits" Hahahaha. You all crack me up.

**Tuesday May 17th**

**8:30 pm **

Decided I should probably make an appearance at stalag 14 today, seeing as everyone will have missed me terribly. Except Wet Lindsay, but no one cares about her. Shes a drip.

**8:45 pm **

Oh. And Slim, and hawkeye. But they all love me deep down. I know it.  
Oh and Elvis, but hes retiring...

**8:48 pm**

Met good ol' Jassy knickers at her gate again.  
"I see we're finally going back to school."  
"Jas, we were gone for a day."  
"Still...we had the whole weekend before us so we were gone longer."  
"Oh, so you missed stalag 14?"  
"No."  
"You did! You miss Slims wobbly chins and Ms. Stamps moustache!"  
"Foxwood boys!" She hissed.  
Oh no, Hunky was here. She went all Jas-dither-ee. Lippy, rolly uppy skirt, hair combed to the side and a pout.  
"You realize you've been seeing him for quite a while now? I have expect you to be a married couple by now."  
"Yes...I fancy marrying him one day." She said all happily as she watched him walk over.  
"So why do you still go mad trying to look good for him?"  
"Because a girl should always look good."  
I rolled my eyes.  
"Hi, Jassy. Hi, Gee." He said.  
"Hi Hunky." I laughed, and suprisingly so did he.  
They kissed, erlack, 5 open mouth kissing. Watching Jas and Hunky kiss was actually almost as gross as watching my parents snog.  
"I'd love to stay and watch you two snog, but I must get to stalag 14. Goodbye."  
Jas followed behind me for a while but didn't bother coming up next to me. Fine. Some best mate.

**Lunch**

Were all on the knicker toaster. The rest of the gang is eating their sandwiches and fruit packed by their own muttis, while I eat left over pizza. Freedom never tasted so good...or cold.  
"So when are you seeing Brenden again, Ellen?" Jools asked  
"Well, uh, you know? I'm meeting him today after school for coffee and then were going to that uh..., you know, stiff dylans gig at the foggy horn on Friday."  
"Ooer. Sounds good, you can show off your dancing skills." Rosie said.  
Ellen blushed. Typico.  
"What are you all doing after school today?" I asked.  
"Seeing Sven."  
"Seeing Tom."  
"Seeing Rollo."  
"Seeing Brenden."  
Fanbloodytastic. All my mates had boyfriends now except for little ol' me.  
"Why don't you ask Dave the Laugh around?" Jas asked and I nearly jumped out of my seat. Ellen giggled nervously.  
"Why would she invite Dave the Laugh around?"  
Jas, seeming to notice her own stupidity now, looked for an excuse,  
"Uh...I dont know. I just, uh, thought it would be a good idea. You could invite over Masimo if you wanted...or any of your other guy friends."  
But unlike, mrs. hugeknickers, I kept my cool.  
"Pah. Like I would ever want to see Italiano Pratio ever again."  
"Ciao Georgia."  
Now I really did jump off my seat. And fall on the floor. And my knickers were showing under my skirt.  
"Uh...Ciao, Italia-Masimo. What are you doing here?"  
"I come to give Lindsay flowers as suprise." He told me.  
"Oh. How nice." HOW NOT NICE, Lindsay is a stupid drippy drippity drip and I hate you for liking her (I said in my head).  
"Alright well, goodbye." I said with glaciosity and then turned back to my so-called mates who were having a laughing fit on the knick toaster.  
"Shut your holes."

**2:00 pm**

All the ace gang got called down to Slims office to explain why were all simultaneously sick. So we all had to lie, and some of us who shall remain un-named arn't very good at lying (Rosie).  
"I had the painters in really bad." I said.  
"I had the flu." Said Jas, with a glare a me. Sheesh.  
"I had the flu as well, Jas gave it to me." Said Jools.  
"My mother was very sick." Said Ellen.  
"I had malaria!" Yelled Rosie.  
"Malaria?" Wobbled slim.  
"I-I mean...the flu as well."  
"I see...well, Lindsay, you probably know her, said that she saw all of you going into Ms. Nicholsons house yesterday morning."  
"Oh..." All of us were speechless. Stupid stick insect, did she have to be such a drip? And a tattle-tale. But fortunately, being the genius I am, I was able to come up with something,  
"Uh...well,my parents and ellens motherdecided that since we were all sick and they are sick too, that we should all stay in the house together so we dont get anyone else sick..."  
"Oh and can you verify that? Our your parents home now?"  
"NO!" I yelled as she picked up the phone, "I mean, Uh...theyre at work. Try calling back after school."

**Walking home**

**3:15 pm**

"What are you going to do Gee? You're horrible at impersonations, she'll never believe it." Rosie said.  
"I know..." Then I saw him, Yes! It was the perfect plan.  
"DAVE!" I yelled.  
"Yes? Oh-hello there, Gorgious."  
"I need your help, come round my house now."  
"Can't get enough of me can you?" He asked as I waved goodbye to the girls and pulled him along the street towards my house.  
"Gee, watch it! You're yanking my arm off!"  
"Just come on! You have to help me before she calls!"  
"Who calls?"  
"Hurry!"  
I pulled him into my house and sat him by the phone.  
"Uh...?"  
"My headmistress is calling! She wants to ask my _parents_ why me and the girls weren't at school yesterday. Can you do an impression of my vati?"  
"Ahh, I see, no parents, eh?" He winked at me.  
"Stay focused!"  
"Ok, ok. Yes I can do an impression of your vati. _I almost had my feet blown off by rogue bores._" He said in a voice that sounded exactly like my dear old loonleader.  
"Oh, Dave! You're amazing!" I hugged him. He smiled, aww.  
"No problem. So whats the story?"  
"Well all of us were sick at home together because my vati-aka you, thought that it would be good for all us sickies to stick together. Oh yes, try to sound like my vati sick."  
He did it perfectly.  
"What will I get in return for this?" He said with a cheeky grin.  
"We'll see..." I smiled back. I am such a red bottomed vixen. I should just be locked up where no more boys can be harmed. Erlack, no, then I'd probably become a lesbian and be with the likes of Ms. Stamp for the rest of my life.  
Just then the phone rang.  
"Go on then!" I said, "Pick it up!"  
"Hello?" He picked it up! He flinched a little then handed the phone to me.  
"Uh...its for you, Gee."  
Oh no. It wasn't Slim...that could only mean...  
"Hello?"  
"Georgia! Why is there a boy there?" It was Vati of course.  
"Its nothing, vati, Jas is here too. See?" I motioned to Dave.  
"Uh...Hi Mr. Nicholson!" He said in a high pitched voice that amazingly sounded like Jas.  
"Er...alright then. Hello, Jas. I still don't like the idea of there being a boy there, Georgia."  
"Don't worry, dad, hes...uh...hes gay!"  
Dave almost fell off his chair when I said that. He looked at me crossly.  
"What?" He mouthed.  
"Oh...well, er, I suppose thats ok then. I mean its okay that hes gay, uh, its his choice, and uh...well, theres nothing wrong with that way of living."  
"Yes...thats right Vati...anything else?" I asked.  
"No. Just checking to see how you are, we're in Los Angeles right now! Its really hot and beautiful and you should see all the palm trees and..."  
"...Thats great dad, now if you don't mind I have to go."  
"Oh alright, goodbye then. We'll call you again later so you can talk to your mum."  
"Alright. Goodbye."  
When we got off the phone Dave looked at me in a looking at me kind of way.  
"What?"  
"I'm _gay_?"  
"Well to him you are now." I giggled.  
"Georgia you know that I am not gay." He said.  
"Oh yes...I know for a fact you're not gay." And I kissed him.  
We did a bit of number 6 snogging on the floor and then the phone rang again.  
"This time I'll answer first." I said.  
"Hello?"  
"Hello, Georgia. May I please speak with your mother or father?"  
"My father is here beside me." I said and passed Dave the phone, he took a dramatic breath and then began talking.  
It was a hell of alot of, "Mmhmms" and "Oh yes, too right. Too right." and "I know, kids today." Finally he explained the story and...SHE BOUGHT IT! Yesss!  
Double cool with knobs!  
"Now do I get my reward?" He asked when he got off the phone.  
"Of course."  
And then we went up to my room and did some 8 and a half snogging.  
Bloody Brilliant.

**7:45 pm**

Dave has just gone home. We snogged for hours and hours, and then we went downstairs and ordered chinese take away.  
Fun Fun Fun in the sun (except inside...and not sunny)

**11:00 pm**

Mabye one day when Dave and I are married we can move to hamburger agogo land and live in Los Angeles. We can be one of those beautiful couples who are rich and suntan all day and have nannies for their children so that they don't have to take up their valuble snogging and tanning time. Mmmmm that would be so great.

**11:15 pm**

That is if I marry Dave.

**11:30 pm**

I could go to hollywood and start my career in acting.

**11:38 pm**

Although I cant even do an impression of my dear old vati so perhaps acting is not my calling.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hoped you liked it! Next chapter coming soon!**


	4. Chapter four

Nexteroonie...

* * *

**Wednesday May 18th**

**6:00 pm**

Hawkeye really does hate me. She decided to give me a bad conduct mark today and cloakroom duty just because I was apparently 'Creating havoc in the girls toilets'. Pah. I was doing no such thing. I was holding Rosie up above my shoulders so that she could write 'R hearts S' on the ceiling, but then I looked up and saw she was wearing 'sunday' underwear and asked her why and she laughed so hard that she fell off my shoulders and almost killed herself if it hadn't been for me and Jools grabbing her before she hit the ground. But then she only had, 'R hea' and she wanted to finish it, and so I stood ontop of Jools shoulder to finish it for her. And then who should waltz in, but my good friend (not) Wet Lindsay. She ran off and got Hawkeye who called Jools and I two disturbed little girls and called Elvis to get his mop and clean the lipstick off the ceiling.  
On a good note, I found out that Elvis will be retiring this friday! Yipee!

**9:00 pm**

What should I wear friday?  
Black has always been my best bet.

**Thursday May 19th**

**8:30 am**

Rang Jas and asked if she wanted to bunk off stalag 14 again, but she said it was too risky. Risky Schmisky. I'm a rebel girl. I don't care if its too risky, I'll bunk of school whenever I bloody want to.

**8:45 am**

At Jassyknickers gate waiting for her to walk to you-know-where. Groan.  
"I see you still have some sense in you." Was what she said when she came out.  
Cheers. No, 'Hello Gee, How are you today?' Or, 'Gee you are looking mighty gorgeous today. You could be a sex goddess!'

**r.e.**

Ms.Wilson is beyond the valley of sad. She has just started telling us about her boyfriend, _Pierre_, and the wonderful caring relationship they have. HA! I bet she just made him up.

**3:00 pm**

Doing my cloakroom duty. Erlack! Nauseating P. Green has hamster droppings in her coat pockets!

**4:00 pm**

Rosie came round to keep me company in my empty sad house.  
I kind of miss Libby and Mutti. And well, no not dad. I haven't sunk to that level of sadnosity.  
We talked about how we were doing our hair for fridays gig.  
"I'm thinking of cute braids. Two on each side. What do you think?" She asked.  
"Sounds good. I'm going for a messy bun on the back of my head."  
She gave me the klingon salute and then we went to find something to eat.

**7:00 pm**

Doing Maths homework. I hate maths, it might be a bit easier if it werent for the fact that our teacher is a math oberfuhrer and part time lesbian. We are too distracted by her moustache to learn anything.

**7:20 pm**

This is quite sad, I have the entire house to myself and I'm doing homework. Perhaps Dave would like to come over for another snogging session? Phwoar, that was fun! But it might sound too keen if I invite him over again so soon.

**8:05 pm**

Rang Jas.  
"Jas?"  
"What?"  
"Don't say what! You're so annoying. Do you have any manners?"  
"I have plenty of manners now what do you want?"  
Grrr. But I shouldn't stay on that subject any more if I ever want to get my message across.  
"Should I have a party on Saturday night?"  
"At your house?"  
"Yeah."  
"Would your parents like that?"  
"Of course they wouldnt like that! But theyre not here! They wont be for another 2 and a half weeks! They won't even know, Jas."  
"True..." She seemed to be thinking.  
"So, should I?" I finally asked.  
"Should you what?"  
Ugh. I hung up.

**8:15 pm**

Rang Ellen.  
"Ellen?"  
"Oh hey, Gee!"  
"Should I have a party Saturday?"  
"Yeah! That sounds cool. I could invite Brenden."  
"Oh yeah, him. I forgot to ask, how was coffee on Tuesday?"  
I could just feel her blushing on the other end.  
"Oh, well, you know. It was great. We had coffee, then, uh...walked in the park and then did some number6 kissing and, well, you know. It was awesome."  
"Uh huh." I was bored already, "Anyways. See you tommorow, Ellen."  
"Bye, Gee."

**12:00 am**

It is really quite creepy in my house alone at night. I wonder how I'll ever get to sleep.

**Friday May 20th**

**7:30 am**

Up at the crack of dawn. I have to start preperation for the gig tonight this early. I have to look like an ultimate sex goddess and show Italiano Pratio just how over him I am.  
I practiced my glaciosity in the mirror while I applied an egg yolk mask and check for any oranguatang business on the legs.

**German**

Hahahahahahahahaahahahhaahahahahahahahaha. Herr Kamyer just was teaching us a new word in German when a bird flew by the window really fast and he jumped and screamed like a little girl and yelled a profanity in German. It was the funniest moment of my life...well almost. Then we found out he was one of those people with uber-phobias and his was of birds. I had heard of that, fear of birds, before hahahaha.

**Lunch**

Since it is Elvis' retiring day, we all went to say farewell to the lovable (not) caretaker.  
"Elvis!" We knocked on his hut.  
"What do you lot want?" He asked us.  
"We came to say goodbye to you, and that we will miss your tremendous caretaking skills."  
I could hear the gang giggling behind me.  
"Alright..."  
"So thank you very much for being such a wonderful man. You've changed our lives."  
He looked a little impressed with himself,  
"Yes, well..."  
"And we just want you to know that just cause you were in a porno magazine with your wife does not mean that we look at you any different!"  
And then we all ran away laughing.  
"Damn kids! I knew you were in my hut!" He yelled after us.

**3:15 pm**

All the gang is on my way to my house to get ready for tonight. And we are still laughing about Herr Kamyers phobia and Elvis' retiring day salute.  
"Hey, Chickies!" Yelled a lardy foxwood boy.  
"Yes?" I yelled back.  
"Are you going to the stiff dylans gig tonight?"  
"Mabye." I said.  
He smiled and nudged all his idiot mates.  
"What are you all going to be wearing.  
"A nice outfit, but if you meet me behind the building after the gig I'll be wearing absolutely nothing."  
Then we walked away and he looked like christmas had come early.  
"Haha! Isn't that the same one you stood up before?" Asked Rosie.  
"Yes! I told him he could see my basoomas if he showed up somewhere, I can't remember, and I never went."  
"So are you going this time?" Asked Jas.  
"Jas, are you just a little bit stupid, why would I meet some random boy in the back of a building in the nuddy-pants?"  
"Well you do get around alot, Gee." She said.  
I cannot believe her! Why would she say that! Grr, I hate her.

**In my room  
****  
4:30 pm**

We're all running around getting dressed up and doing our hair and make up. I refuse to talk to Jas and I've been avoiding her presence in my room.  
"Rosie, please ask Mrs. Hugeknickers to pass the hair bouncibility cream."  
"Jas, pass Georgia the hair bouncibility cream."  
"Here you go, Gee. I'm sorry I said that. I don't know why it came out of my mouth."  
"Rosie, please tell Mrs. Hugeknickers I thank her for being a kind enough mate to pass me the hair bouncibility cream. But please lay off the apologizing because I will never ever forgive her for what she said..."  
Rosie opened her mouth to say it all but Jas interupted her,  
"I heard what she said."

**7:30 pm**

On our way to the Foggy Horn. Wehave all linked arms, except Jas is on one end and I'm on the other.

**8:00 pm**

Really fun so far! We've been drinking lots of coca-cola and dancing away. The foxwood lad that I had told to meet me behind the building came up to ask me to dance and I said no, and he decided to talk to me instead. Merde.  
"I can't wait till after the gig." He said, and he kept trying to look down my shirt.  
"Please go away." I said.  
Then he bought me a drink and kept talking/looking down my shirt.  
"...so then I said to him, 'look mate I know you'"  
"Hey, sex kitty!" Thank our good vati in heaven! ThankBuddha! Thank everone! Super Dave to the rescue!  
"Hello Dave." The foxwood lad glared.  
"Hello, Tim." He glared back. I almost laughed at the hilarosity of it all.  
"Would you like to dance?" Dave asked.  
"Of course." I said, I looked around for Ellen. She had gone to the loos. Good.  
He took me to the dance floor and we danced to some fast music for a while. He is a pretty cool dancer. I imagine when we're far away in Los Angeles we can go dancing in all the hot clubs with the cool celebrities. That is if I marry him.

**8:25 pm**

Ellen alert! Ellen alert! I stopped dancing.  
"Dave, uh, I think I need a drink."  
"Oh...ok."  
Ellen had been in the loos for the past 25 minutes making sure she looked absolutely fabulous for her manslave Brenden the pizza boy.  
"Were you two dancing?" She asked.  
"No." I said.  
"Yes." Dave said. She looked at us both queerly (and no I don't mean in a gay way.)  
"Is there something going on between you two?" She asked.  
"No." I said.  
"Yes." Dave said, and I looked at him. "Well...mabye."  
"How is mabye?" She asked.  
EARTH TO DAVE! EARTH TO DAVE! I DONT WANT HER TO KNOW ABOUT US!  
Perhaps I could send him psychic messages with my brain?  
I tried but it didn't work.  
"Do you two snog?" She asked.  
"Oh yes." He answered truthfully. I am so mad!  
She looked a little sad for a moment, then she saw Brenden in the doorway and her smile became so wide I could see all her teeth.  
"Thats great guys! Uh...I gotta go see Brenden now." And she walked over to him.  
I was stunned! Shocked! Was she finally over Dave?  
Dave seemed to be having the same reaction, then he turned and smiled at me.  
"Would you like to dance again?"  
"Sure."

**8:45 pm**

The stiff dylans have entered the building. Italiano Pratio is at the front looking very gorgey-porgey indeed. And most of the girls in the club have sort of flocked towards him. I waved to Dom in a cool way as I sat with the girls and their boyfriends...and Dave. I wonder what to address him as. I can't call him boyfriend because he's more of a, what you call, friend with benifits. I wonder if I could just call him my snogging partner?

**10:00 pm**

The stiff dylans have been playing for quite a while now. Masimo was singing really well and he did look pretty groovy. But oh well, I was dancing with Dave the L. having a blast.  
"Dave will you please ask Mrs. Hugeknickers to move over a little so I can sit down. Not that I want to sit beside her anyway, but I have no choice."  
"Mrs. Hugeknickers ie. Jas, as Georgias faithful and ever helpful man servant I am obliged to ask you to scooch your bum over a little so she can sit down." He said.  
Jas gave me a look and then moved over.  
"Dave, my wonderful manservant, will you please tell Jas I said thank you and that I am one step closer to forgiving her...but I am still not that happy with her."  
"She says shes forgiving you, but not completely." He said in a bored voice.  
"Yes I heard her." Jas said in a snooty voice, which I thought was very inappropriate for someone who had just called her best mate a whore.  
Just then Dave took my hand in his and kissed it. Oh no. Isn't this something boyfriend/girlfriends do? Definately not something professional snogging partners do. Oh mon dieu.  
"So what did Jassyknickers do to make you so mad?" He asked.  
I was about to say nothing, but _she_ opened her mouth first and told him the whole story.  
"Round back with Tim?" He laughed his arse off for a few minutes.  
"So thats why he's so keen on you." Then a little lightbulb seemed to light up over his head, "I have an idea."

**10:15 pm**

The stiff dylans took a break and Dave and I went to put our plan into action.  
"Are you ready?" He asked, pointing to Lindsay who had draped herself over Italiano Pratio and was whispering in his ear and giggling.  
"Yes." I said.  
He smiled and pulled a jar of the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life out of his pocket. It was fake vomit.  
"It's actually just spaghetti sauce, mashed up cheerios and yoghurt." He said, and I felt like vomiting myself.  
"Oh...Oh my stomach." He moaned. He put the jar up by his face and walked over towards Lindsay.  
"Oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick!" And with that he doubled over and pushed the entire jar of fake vomit on her.  
"AHHHHH!" She yelled, I could not keep from laughing. She was chasing after Dave now with "Vomit" all over her face and clothes. Dave was too quick for her, he dashed behind the bar and hid.  
"Be right back, sweetie." She said to I.P. "I have to go clean up, good thing I brought a change of clothes." And she stalked off to the loos.  
HA! Only a drip like Lindsay would bring a change of clothes to a gig.  
"Alright." Dave whispered, "Part two of the plan, it's your turn."  
I smiled and nodded with a thumbs up then headed into the loos behind her. Once she was securely in a stall I got everyone else out of the loos by telling them someone had had a visit to the poo poo parlor division and it wasn't v. nice smelling. Then I stood a little bit outside of Lindsays stall. She had left her large purse outside of the stall with her change of clothes whilst she changed. I giggled evily in my mind as I took her purse and opened it silently. I could hear her grumbling to herself inside thestall. I am so deliciously sneaky! I took out her change of clothes and stuffed them into my little purse (it wasn't easy with all the lippy...good thing she was wearing the shortest skirt known to humanity so it didn't take up much space). Then when she flung her clothes she had been wearing over the top of the stall I quickly snuck up and grabbed those as well. I put those ones in a plastic bag and tied it up. Then I snuck out of the loos and locked the door.

Dave was waiting for my klingon salute to know that everything had gone as planned. I did it and he did a cross eyed look back.  
"Next step." He mouthed to me, trying to make sure that none of the gang around him saw. I gave him another klingon salute and made my glorious way over to Tim the spotty boy from foxwood.  
"Hey."I said in my best vixen voice.  
"Hi." He said.  
"Change of plans, get out right away to the back of the building, where the girls loo window is."  
He gave me a queer look (again, not gay).  
"Just get out there! I have to go change." I said.  
He nodded and went out really fast to the back.  
Now the plan was in full operation and I went to get Dave.  
"Everythings set," I whispered in his ear and he kissed me. Yum Yum.  
"Lets go." He said. Then the two of us walked out behind the building and hid behind some bins.  
We waited for a few moments and then saw Tim come around the bend. He stood in the shadows outside the girls loo window.  
"Theres Lindsay." Dave whispered. Sure enough there was the drippy one. She poked her head out first and then pulled herself out the window. But get this, she was in her thong and bra! Hahahahhahhahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha  
Dave and I tried to laugh as quietly as possible from behind the bins as we watched her emerge from the window.  
"Hello." Came the voice of Tim, "You actually showed. And you look great, wait...you're not the one I'm waiting for." He said getting a better look at her.  
Lindsay looked too embarrassed to talk. She began to run in the other direction and ran right passed us.  
Dave and I fell over we were laughing so much,  
"I dont think I'll ever be able to get that mental image out of my head." I shuddered.  
"We make a great team," He said "Both of us go tour enemies."  
We did make a great team. I really like Dave, but do I _like him_, like him?

Ah, my red bottom is coming out to play again. GO AWAY!

**2:00am**

Fantastic evening! Danced the rest of the night away! Had fun with Dave and the gang, I also forgave Jas a little more. Stiff dylans played an excellent gig even though I.P was the lead. I miss Robbie. Wait, no I don't, he ditched me for sheep. Grr.

**2:30 am**

Good thing Jassy knickers never found out what Dave and I did to Lindsay and Tim...she'd probably have a fit or something about how 'mean' I am. At least I don't call my best mates whores.

**Saturday May 21st**

**11:00 am**

Just woke up...yum yum. Such a good night last night. Tonight is partay time! I had already spread the word and now there was just setting up to do.

**11:30 am**

Rang Jas.  
"Jas?"  
"Gee! You forgive me!"  
"Yes, but only cause I need your help."  
"With what?"  
"Come round and help me get ready for the party."  
"Alright."

Never has Jas been so easy to get through to and non-stubborn, probably cause she feels bad about insulting her bestest pally.

**11:45 am**

Jas came round and made a list of things to do for tonight in order of how we should do them. Sometimes she is so organized it scares me.  
Here is the list,

**1) Clean house** (It has gotten a little pingy pongoes since I've been leaving pizza boxes everywhere.)  
**2) Buy food & Decorations **(ie. Crisps, coca-colas, finger foods, balloons, colorful table cloths, plastic cups)  
**3) Invite Ace gang over to help decorate  
4) Get music ready and plan out what we're to do at the party.  
5) Get dressed, do make up and hair.  
6) Set out food  
7) Guests arrive  
8) HAVE FUN! **

How sad is she? She put number 8 as, 'Have fun.' Well of course, Jassy, mon petite nincompoop I am going to have fun. This is a party thrown by me and in all honesty I am le genius.

**12:00 pm**

Began cleaning till house is spick and span. Jas picked up pizza boxes while I cleaned up dirty clothes and did dishes. Jas swept and put away anything that didn't belong where it was while I poked around in the bedrooms making sure nothing embarassing was out for any couples who came up here to be alone to see. Found three pairs of dirty jim jams of Libbys in her bedroom and two pairs of pooey knickers under her pillow, erlack.  
In mom and dads room I found condoms!ERLACK A PONGOES TIMES A MILLION! I don't want to think of my parents getting to Rosie& Sven level...thats disgusting! Still the condoms may come in handy if anyone decides to get frisky up here. Don't want know unexpected pregnancies happening at my suare extraordinaire. I just hope that no one will be getting to Rosie & Sven level in one of the bedrooms, knowing that someone may have done that in your own bed is almost as bad as knowing that your parents still do it.

House clean. #1 CHECK!

**12:30 pm**

Went to Jennings so Jas could see Hunky but found no good junk food for parties, just a bunch of organic veggie crap. Poo. So we headed to the store down the lane.

**12:57 pm**

Bought crisps, about a tonne of coca-cola, a cheese platter, mini pizzas and a veggie & dip platter because Jas insisted. Now we're heading to the decoration store.

**1:23 pm**

Bought a pack of balloons, colorful table cloths, streamers and a cool naughty dice game thing that Jas goggled at when I bought. On one dice it tells you what to do to someone and on the other it says where to do it on them...I probably will not play it because it sounds a little risque. But some people might want to.

**1:25 pm**

# 2 CHECK!

**At home**

**1:45 pm**

Home again. Rang the ace gang to come over and help decorate.  
They came over straight away.  
We blew up balloons and hung streamers and put up colorful table cloths. Then they all became dithering idiots when I showed them the dice game.  
"That looks like fun." Rosie said and we all goggled at her like a couple of goosegogs.  
Then again, she had gotten to Rosie & Sven level (hence the name) so she might be in to that sort of thing. Erlack.

**2:50 pm**

#3 CHECK!

**3:15 pm**

Ellen helped me carry down my stereo to the front room and we brought down all my cds. Then we sat around and argued about what we were going to do at the party.  
"You should have made it a theme, Gee!" Said Rosie.  
"But then it will be like all your parties."  
"So whats wrong with that?"  
"Your parties are nice. But I think I have heard about and been to enough of theme parties to last me a lifetime. I think hearing about the lord of the rings party put me over the edge."  
"Well too bad cause next saturday I'm having another party and its going to be Cowgirl/Cowboy party."  
I rolled my eyes.

**3:30 pm**

# 4 CHECK!

**3:55 pm**

We spent quite a while getting dressed and doing make up and hair. It was like deja vu from last night. Mabye I should have waited a little longer after the stiff dylans gig for a party?

**5:10 pm**

# 5 CHECK!

**5:15 pm**

Set out all the food in bowls and on platters and put out the drinks.

**5:45 pm**

# 6 CHECK!

**6:00 pm**

A few guests arrived! Tom, Rollo, Brenden and Dave, Mabs, Sarah, Patty and a few othersall came at 6. And Tim and all his foxwood lads, he glared at me when he saw me. Oh how I laughed.

**8:00 pm**

Parties doing pretty well! Everyone is dancing and having fun and I saw a few people go up to the bedrooms in pairs. Erlack, I hope no frisky business is going on up there.  
Who am I kidding? Of course theres frisky business going on up there. Did I expect them to be up there having a good long chat?

**9:00 pm**

Dave asked me to dance quite a few times. I wonder if he thinks we are an item and not just two snogging partners with the general horn?

**10:00 pm**

Playing seven minutes in the closet. Ellen and Brenden went first, she came out all blushing and dithery and holding his hand. I snuck a look at Dave, he was grinning at me. He is quite cool. If we were to have kids they would probably be good looking. Which is always a plus

**10:25 pm**

Its my turn and Dave opened his mouth to say he was going inwith me, but Tim got there first. Erlack.Mon dieu. And triple merde.

**In the closet**

**10:26 pm**

Tim put his mouth on mine and did this sort of wet disgusting kiss that reminded me of the whelk boy. Errrgh, up close I could see the white bits of all his lurkers. I wonder if its contagious? He put his hand on mynunga! Erlack! I hate this! I want out! This must be the millionth boy to (wrongfully)assume that I would like theyre greasy hands all over mybasoomas! ACK!

**11:00 pm**

I brought out the dice game for everyone who wanted to play and suprisingly everyone did. Even Jas and Hunky got in on it.And she was goggling at me in the store like a goose gog when I bought it. Pah. I will never ever play this stupid gross disgusting game.

**11:30 pm**

Dave convinced me. I rolled and I had to lick his stomach. Erlack! His stomach! So I did, just glad that it was over. I was lucky that that was all I got though, some people had to do much much much worse things.

**12:00 am**

"Did you like my rock hard abs?" Dave asked patting his stomach.  
"Yes...they were very...er...rocky?" We both laughed like a bunch of loons.

**1:00 am**

The rest of the night was fun but soon people started clearing out, I heard some say they were moving on to the next party a few blocks over. Mon dieu. How do they do it? Dave kissed me goodnight.  
"See you later." He said. I grumbled, another infamous 'see you later'.

**1:05 am**

Erlack! Tim just asked me out. He asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend.  
"Uh...no." I said and shut the door on him.  
Stupid nunga holder, hes almost as bad as Jock Mcthick-or worse...my cousin.

**Sunday May 22nd**

**12:00 pm**

I am so tired. Too much partying for oneweekend.  
Ah, my head hurts.  
I should get something to eat. Or by the time Mutti and Vati come home I shall be skin and bones and Mutti will have another excuse to take me to see her love affairee Dr. Clooney.

**1:00 pm**

Walking to the store to get something healthy because I have been eating take away for the past week.  
I went into Jennings and saw Tom.  
"Hey Tom!"  
"Oh. Hey, Gee." He said, he was bagging some old ladies carrots and cabbage.  
"Talked to Jas since last night?" He asked.  
"No." I said. I picked up some healthy pasta and sauce. With some carrots, dip, lettuce, dressing and cucumbers. I felt like the spokesperson for healthy eating.  
"Did you here the good news?" He asked as I paid.  
"About what?"  
"Robbie..."  
"Did he have his feet blown off by a rogue bore?" I asked, hopefully.  
"Now, Now." Hunky gave me a stern eye. Which made me laugh quite a bit.  
"Fine. What news?"  
"He's coming home."  
I dropped my bag of healthy crap and stared agog at him.  
"What?" I asked.  
"Yeah, he said now that hes had a taste of it hes bored. And he really misses you."  
I felt my insides writh with guilt. He misses me? Oh mon dieu. I've been messing about with Dave the L. and hes been sitting alone in the sheep fields missing me. Perhaps singing songs about me and how I would never let my red bottom get in the way of our wonderful relationship? Gulp.

**

* * *

A/N  
Hurrah! I am done the 4th chapter! Next coming soon...**


	5. Chapter five

**Monday May 23rd **

**Maths**

I only came to school today because I need advice from my chums.  
Sent notes to the fab five and received one back from each:

Jools:  
_If you want my advice you should just do what you REALLY want. Ask yourself if you like Dave or Robbie better._

Ellen:  
_ROBBIE! Afterall, whats the point of a sex god being there if you never use him. So...you and Dave huh? It's alright with me, I guess._

Rosie:  
_Sven usually tells me, when I ask him for his opinion, to go stick my head in a vat of fish guts. Im not quite sure if thats a saying for something in his country or if he really wants me to stick my head in fish guts._

(Lets just note here that I have no clue as to what she is blithering on about.)

Jas:  
_I don't think you should be with Dave the Laugh seeing as he is one of your closest mates ex-boyfriend._

Then of course Ms. Stamp with her manly moustache marched over and read the notes aloud and the entire class heard...bloody brilliant.

**9:00 pm**

Ordered Italian take away tonight, and to get in the mood I put on some of my parents italian music and talked with what I thought was a very good italian accent.  
Stupid Massimo. I wonder what our children would look like? Mmm he is pretty yummy scrumboes. Perhaps I could marry Dave the laugh, have a child with him that is funny with very nice hair, then see Massimo on the side and have an italian prat child that is gorgey with him.Oh and what about Robbie? Hmmm...I guess I could have a love child with him as well. He could be the intellectual, gorgey, deep one.  
Listen to me planning ahead in my life, I am so full of maturosity and responsibilitosity.  
I am slightly depressed that the loons will be back in a week, though.

**Tuesday May 24th**

**3:00 pm**

Bloody fantastic! Today outside stalag 14 whilst we were off on our merry ways home we saw Lindsay waiting outside looking all dignified (or at least she was trying to be) and Spotty Tim was hanging around like a loony loonster in the bushes breathing very loudly because of his asthma or something. I almost peed myself laughing. He was trying to be very nonchalant so she couldn't see him but she could hear his loud shallow breathing and was trying to ignore him. Hadihahahaha.

**6:00 pm**

Rang Jas.  
"Jas?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you wanna go for a walk?"  
"To where?"  
"I don't know to get something to eat."  
"Why don't you order in?"  
"Jas, my hefty knickered chummy, have you been living under a rock for the past two weeks? All I've eaten is take-out."  
"No need to get shirty. I was only suggesting."  
"Yes, well...suggest something else."  
Silence.  
"Jas?"  
"Hmmm?"  
"I asked you to suggest something."  
"Oh, I thought you were just making a point."  
I hung up on her. Have the two of us ever been able to have a conversation on the phone without it resulting in hanging up? It's not my fault shes stupid...and a vegetable.

**6:15 pm**

Went for a walk by myself to find food and decided to go into Jennings.  
"Hey Tom." I greeted him nicely, because I am just that nice.  
"Oh, hey Gee. What's up?"  
"Trying to find real food."  
He laughed, "Well you can certainly find that here."  
"So...when is Robbie getting back?" Oh no. I am showing interest, I am supposed to show glaciosity towards Robbie because he left me to snog sheep in kiwi a-go-go.  
"Friday. I've invited him to Rosie and Svens cowboy party on Saturday. You'll be there right?"  
"Of course, I wouldn't want to miss a theme party. They're the only things that keep me going now-a-days."  
"Cool." Helaughed and then I left.

**6:20 pm**

Had to go back into Jennings cause I forgot to buy food.

**12:13 am**

What am I going to do about Robbie...and Dave. Quest-que-ce la point, I may as well become a lesbian. That is my fall back plan.  
I'm getting very used to it being quiet at night. And it's so peaceful not having Libby wake me up at the crack of Dawn to crawl into bed with her toys and squishy things that I don't know what they are. And alas, there's only a week left of this peace.

**Wednesday May 25th**

**1:00 pm**

**r.e.**

Doing my nails, I have a big date with Dave tonight. At least I think its a date...you never know with Dave. I'm not even sure if we're official whatsits yet.

"So how are things with you and Dave going?" Ellen asked me, a little sadly.  
Get over it.

"Good. We're seeing eachother tonight." I said with maturosity.

"Oh really? I'm seeing Brendan tonight as well. Ooer, we should go on a double date!"

"NOOOOOO!" I said in my mind.

"Uh...sure." I said out loud. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I don't even know if stupid dave the laugh thinks we're boyfriend or girlfriend or if we're still proffessional snogging partners.

**6:30 pm**

Waiting for Ellen.  
She's on her way over to get ready for our (groan) double date avec moi.

**6:45 pm**

Still waiting...

**7:15 pm **

Where is she? We have to be at the bloody restaurant in 15 minutes!

**7:20 pm**

Decided to leave without mrs. late-y-pants. Have to get ready really quick now, we were GOING to have an hour to get ready.

**7:23 pm**

Lippy. Coverstick. Brushy Brushy hair. More Lippy. Blouse. Skirt.Stockings. Boy Entrancers. Lippppppppppy. Out the door I go!

**7:34 pm**

Made it just on time...well sort of. I was all panty-panty when I got in though and everyone was looking at me strange. I then realized that instead of my blouse, I had slipped on my ancient _Spice Girls _t-shirt that just barely fit.  
"Er...May I help you madame?" Asked the Sopisticostisized host-guy-person-thingy.  
"Yes, table for six.",I pointed to my shirt and then me.Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I am le genius.  
"I only see one of you." Obviously _some people _cannot comprehend the hilarosity that is le genius...who is me.  
"I meant me and Scary and Baby and Ginger and Posh and Sporty..."  
He just looked at me in a looking way.  
I sighed, "Nevermind. I'm meeting my chums here. It's for--"  
"I know which party your for. You're _chums_ told me to look out for a very weird girl and send her over to your table. I'll take you."  
Cheers. What amazing friends I have. I should take more consideration into re-considering my pally-choices.

"Hi, Georgie!" Dave the laugh exclaimed when I was led to the table.  
"Hi." He kissed me as I sat down, yummy scrumboes.  
"Hi, Brendon. Ellen...where were you?"  
"Oh. I-uh-kinda-you know, had a little..."number 8 1/2" with Brandon and we got carried away. Sorry, Gee."

**12:45 am**

The night was a disatrosity. Ellen was dithery, Dave was loud causing stares from the posh ancients dining in luxury (sort of), Brendon kept watching my nungas move and I couldn't think of anything to say. But..._ooer_, double cool with knobs and yummy scrumboes multiplyed by a squillion--DAVE THE L. ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLY-PARTNER!  
We said goodnight to Brendon and Ellen, who said goodbye to my basoomas (Brendon not Ellen) Then Dave walked me home. On my doorstep we started doing 5 kissing, tongues. Then we pushed our way inside and felt around to the stairs, climbed up and entered my boudoire. We lay on the bed and got up to 8 (He's the only boy that doesn't make me want toslap himwhen he touches my nungas). Then quickly shot up to 8 1/2. Then we had a small intermission.  
"So...Gee." He said sitting on the end of my bed, looking all...serious. A vair vair funny look to see on Dave the L."  
"So...Dave." I answered. I am so incredibly witty.  
"Where do you think this is going?" He asked.  
"It's going...good." What else was I supposed to say, he may be very suprised by this...but I don't know _everything  
_"Are we still just proffessional snogging partners or...?"  
"...Girly and Boy-y partners?" I finished.  
"Yea...are we?"  
"Well, that depends. Do you want to be."  
"Yes. Alot...really, alot. Alot-alot. Alot-Alot-Alot-Alot!"  
How sweet, he's so blinded by the mask of love that he can't even speak properly. Or think straight.  
"Well, I want to too."  
"Good."  
"Ok."  
"So...? Are we girly and boy-y partners yet?"  
"I guess so."  
"Cool."  
"Double cool with knobs-cool."  
Silence, and then...  
"Nice Spice girls top... Would you mind parting with Emma, Geri, Mel .C., Mel. G., and Victoria for a little while?" He is so irresistably cheeky.  
"Mabye." I acted like the minx I am.And that's when I parted with my spice girls shirt and we went back to snogging withinan inch of our lives.

**Thursday May 26th **

**8:00 am**

Rang Jas.  
"Hello?"  
"Jas?"  
"What?"  
"Do you want to bunk off school again, it may be the last time before the ancients return."  
"No way, Gee...We can't miss school again!"  
"Please, do it for your bestest pally!"  
She sighed on the other end, and there was silence, I knew she was fiddling with her crap fringe. I wanted to reach into the phone and slap her hand away.  
"So?"  
"Fine."  
"Call up Rosie."  
"What about the other girls?"  
"Nah we can't all be away again, slim will get suspicious."  
"Ok."  
"See you soon, bring snacks!"

Let it be known that on Thursday May 26th at 8:00 am and 35 seconds Jas and Georgia had a full telephone conversation without one of them hanging up on eachother.

**8:45 am**

Jas and Rosie arrived.  
"Hey, Gee. We brought cheesy snacks and fizzy drinks and crap."  
Woohoo! Crap! My favourite!  
We sat ourselves down in my room and began gossiping. I told them all about last night.  
"He stared at your basoomas all night! What about Ellens?"  
"Well theres not much to stare at."  
"So what number did you and Dave the L. end up getting to last night?"  
I said it muffled as I drank my fizzy drink, this is my private business after all.  
"What?" Jas asked in her ever-pleasant (not) Jas voice.  
"Number 9." I said more clearly.  
They dropped their snacks and looked at me, suprised.  
"So you...?"  
"Mmmhmm."  
"Woah."  
I don't see what Rosie was 'woah-ing' about. She is, afterall, the only one in the fab five to make it to 'Rosie & Sven' Level. I didn't even go near that.  
"What does it look like?" Jas blurted.  
Rosie and I looked at eachother for a moment then burst out laughing. We rolled on to the floor and pounded our fists against it as our bellies ached with laughter.  
Huffy-knickers looked angry.  
"Well...it was only a question. You two have seen one, I havn't."  
We giggled a little more then put on our best serious tones,  
"They look like 'how's your fathers' thats what they look like." I said.  
Jas rolled her eyes and became huffy...big suprise.

* * *

Alright rooney, I hope you enjoyed the chappy! Review if you did! Review if you didn't! Thanks for all the reviews I've gotten so far! I'll post more soon. 

Emma


	6. Chapter six

**Friday May 27th **

**7:30 am**

Just woke up. I really don't fancy going to stalag 14 today, especially since i have a squillion and one things to think about in this gorgeous head of mine!

**7:50 am**

Thinking as I dress and apply lippy.

Dave is my boy-y partner! I'm his girly partner! We are no longer proffessional snogging partners. And I saw his..._area_. It was quite strange actually, the only time i ever saw another one was when I accidentally walked in on the loon leader in the shower and that was definately the pinaccle of all the traumaticosity in my life...I still shudder at the thought. Erlack.  
ANYWHO, back on track...  
Dave and me. Me and Dave. Mrs. Georgia the laugh...I like that one.

**7:54 am**

But not everything is peachy keen in my life at the moment, what will I do about The former sex god, Robbie? I will be seeing him tonight, and Dave will want to show off his new girly partner like rafiki in the lion king holding up simba for all the animal kingdom to bow down to. Except they will not bow down to me (Then again...you never know).

**7:59 am**

Besides what do I care about what the former sex god thinks? I don't care about him almost as much as I don't care about Italiano Pratio.  
Mmmmm...Italiano Pratio.

**8:06 am**

I have been quite the little minx whileRobbie was away. Two other blokes have been putunder my spellAND Robbie came back for me! Lil'olme...  
Perhaps I should borrow a pair of Jas' giganticamus pantaloons for tonightto make certain my red bottomdoesn't come out tomingle.

**8:15 am**

I'm on my way to Wet Jas'. The ancients will land in three days, the bloody cowboy party could very well be my last party in freedom. Sigh.

**8:20 am**

Met Jassy.  
"Bonjour ma petite nincompoop."  
"I've been waiting for ages."  
What is she blithering on about?  
"It's only 8:20, ma cherie."  
"No...It's 8:55! Stalag 14 starts in five minutes. Where have you been? I was just about to leave without you!"  
Oh, cheers, my best mate was going to leave me behind to die.  
"The time on my clock must have been wrong...I don't know how it changed."  
"Yeah, well, we have to go now. Hawkeye will have a fit."  
I grumbled in my best grumbly way,  
"Sodding Hawkeye, she can kiss my patootie. I wish we had bunked off today."  
Jas looked at me in a looking at me way, as if I was some sort of rebel girl.

**8:50--I mean 9:10 am**

**assembly**

Slim is blithering on about something insignificant to the wonderful world of Georgia, and so the fab five were discussing plans for this evening.  
"Should I wear boy entrancers? Brendan is coming along with me...I want to look good."  
I, the yoda of the group, put in my two cents  
"Yes, wear them. They give full longevity to your...er...eyelash thingies."  
"Are you sure?"  
Then Jasdecided (wrongfully)to put in her own,  
"Don't, Tom says that he doesn't fancy them too much."  
"Neither does Rollo."  
Hmpf.  
"Well I think they are nice, and Dave hasn't said anything against them yet."  
"He will." Said Jassyknickers.  
Someday I'm going to reach over and strangle that skinny neck of hers.

**3:15 pm**

We were greeted by the boys on the way home from stalag 14 which was accompanied by the usual dither attack.  
When we were finished making ourselves presentable behind Elvis' old shed, we walked with them.  
Dave actually blushed a little when he saw me. I, of course, being the humerous person I am pointed this out to him and began to blush more.  
"What are you wearing tonight?" He asked.  
"A Cowboy hat..." I said giving a sly grin. I am such a minx.  
He smiled back in the same way. What is the masculine form of minx? Minxo? Minxe?  
The girls parted from the lads at my door and I gave Dave a kiss on the cheek.  
"See you tonight."  
"I'm looking forward to your hat..."

**4:00 pm**

We stayed at my house for snacks and to get ready, and now we are all heading over to Rosies to help her bring out food and put on last minute touches.

We walked down the street to her house, arm in arm, all of us in our cowgirl outfits. (Don't worry I was wearing more than a hat.) Yelling 'Howdy!' and 'Giddy-up!' to unsuspecting passerbys.

**7:00 pm**

The party has begun! We are waiting for people to arrive.  
I am sitting all aloney on my oney on a chair waiting for Dave the laugh and The former sex god to arrive. I am still in the valley of indecision.  
What if I cannot control my red bottomoscity? I need a back up plan.

**7:05 pm**

Spoke to Jas about the situation.  
"So you want me to watch you the entire night?"  
"No, just keep an eye on me."  
"Thats the same thing, Gee."  
Honestly, I will kill her someday. If I was not in such a state of stressosity I would have snapped at her but I kept my cool.  
"Listen, the sex god and Dave the laugh will be under the same roof and I can't guarantee that my red bottom wont be joining them. So, I just want you to look out for any signs of it. If you see it, I don't care what you do...just get it away from the lads. Ok?"  
Jas looked very confused. But I had no time for confusion because at that moment Rollo, Brendan, Tom, and eeek Dave and Robbie came in. Dave was glaring at Robbie and Robbie looked as if he had no clue what was going on. Then he saw me. His face lit up with a huge smile and he came running over to me. He put his arms around me and planted one right on my lips.  
I almost fell over.  
I kept my eyes open, which I knew was a definate no-no in the rules of kissing, but I had definately not been expecting this.  
I could see Dave out of the corner of my eye looking very...sad. Jas and company were looking at me in looking at me ways. Finally the kissed finished and I realized, as Dave walked away from the room, that for the first time in my life I would have to be serious about something.  
"Uh...hi, Robbie."  
"Sorry. I've just missed you so much, Gee!I was so excited to get back and start things up with you again."  
Start back up with me again? So he thinks that he can go off and snog sheep for a year and then just come back and expect me to have been sitting here waiting patiently for him to get back...possibly knitting?  
"I brought you back a gift from New Zealand." He said, and he pulled out a little silver guitar on a chain. On the back 'To Gee, with Love from Robbie' was inscribed. Oh mondieu.  
"Wow, it's beautiful, Robbie...but-"  
"Uh-oh." He said.  
"-I kinda...uh...started things up with Dave."  
"Dave the laugh?" He asked.  
"Yeah."  
"But...how...why?"  
"Because, Robbie...you were off snogging sheep, and possibly maori women in Kiwi a gogo land. I had no clue when you were getting back, you never said if we were officially broken up or not. I was confused and heart broken. And I moved on. Did you just expect me to be sitting here waiting for you to get back?" I amazed myself with the mature words coming from my mouth, he stood speechless.  
"Well...?" I asked exasperatedly.  
"Do you know whats going on with Lindsay?"  
My jaw dropped.  
What no, "GEORGIA JUST RIPPED MY HEART TO SHREDS! SHE IS A RUTHLESS MANEATER AND SHOULD BE BURNED AT THE STAKE!"?  
He wants to know whats going on with Lindsay? Wet Lindsay? ERLACK!

I gave him a look of glaciosity,  
"She is going out with Ita-Masimo."

"Masimo? Who is Masimo?"  
"Masimo is your replacement in the stiff Dylans." His face fell. I wanted to say that he was also ten times more gorgey than the former sex god, but I didn't.  
"Why has everything changed?" He whined.  
Good observation, oh stupid once sex god material (but not anymore) one. Things have changed because you made the (stupid) decision to leave me all aloney on my owney for a year!

"So...theres no chance of you getting back together with me?"

"Nota chance in hell. Especially now that after only a second of learning I was taken you moved onto Lindsay."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Bye Robbie." I said. Ooer. I am the master of coolness and maturosity and glaciosity of all sorts!

I had to find Dave. I had a feeling he wasn't having much of a laugh at the moment.

* * *

**A/N**

Phewph. Georgie's had a loooong day. That entire post was one day. Were almost caught up to the actual date it is...its Saturday the 28th. Hmmmmmm. Anywho, I'll be posting more tonight but right now I gotta go out cause its soooooooo sunny:-D

Love,  
Emma.


	7. Chapter seven

**Saturday May 28th**

**11:00 am**

Just woke. Last night was...interesting.  
After I blew off the formersex godI went to find Dave, who happens to be the only laugh for me.  
I found him in the kitchen looking very sullen, indeed.  
"Dave?" I asked with my most 'I'm sorry for just kissing some other bloke' voice.  
"Yes?" He grunted. Erlack. I hate the word grunted, alas I must use it here...twice.  
"I'm sorry...I-I just told him off, I swear its ended between Robbie and I."  
"That kiss looked pretty hot and heavy."  
_Pur-lease_. My eyes were sodding open! How could that have looked hot and heavy? He's only saying that to make the situation seem a squillion times more...er...bad.  
"Thats your perception of the kiss." I said with maturosity, "I am just saying that it meant nothing. He didn't know about us, but I set him straight. I swear."  
He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes with a cute grin,  
"Swear on Wet Lindsays thong?"  
I cringed...what else would I do...cheer? Say 'Yowza'? I think not, especially since I have already seen Lindsays thong up her bum-oley and its not a very pretty sight. AlsoI am not a lesbian like our math obherfurer Ms. Stamp.  
"Oh god. Please don't give me that mental picture."  
"Do you swear?" He repeated.  
I sighed, if I must...  
"Yes, I swear on...erlack, Wet Lindsays thong."  
Which is really stupid anyways because why would I want to swear on Wet Lindsays thong when I want the thing to be burned in the first place.  
"Good." He smiled, he's so sweet. I'll forgive him for the thong thing.  
The two of us stood in the kitchen holding hands and talking for a while, it felt nice to spend some quality time with my boyfriend _not_ swallowing eachothers faces. But five minutes later...we were snogging in the kitchen pantry.

So that was my night. Dave asked if I wanted to go see a film today and I accepted (obviously). He told me that he was so happy of my answer that he was going to give me a lap dance (which he never did, I was a little dissapointed. I was looking forward to that, strictly for the hilarosity of it all, of course, cough.)

**1:00 pm**

Rang Jas.  
"Jas?"  
"Yeah?"  
"My parents are back monday afternoon."  
"So...?"  
"So, I'm depressed.I was beginning to love the feeling of silence at night. No sticky bottys pressing against me in the middle of the night. And no stupid loony racket in the morning when the ancients are getting ready for work. I'll miss it all."  
"-Sorry, Gee, what were you saying? Tom just made me a cucumber and cream cheese sandwhich."  
I hung up.  
What does a girl have todo to getsome decent consolation around here. So the vegetable twins are chowing down on cucumber sandwiches? Arn't they afraid theyre eating theyre brother or theyre aunt or something?

**1:16 pm**

Rang Rosie.  
"Hello?"  
"Ro-Ro?"  
"Oh, hey, Gee...whats up? Did you have fun at the cowboy party?"  
"Alot of fun...in a pantry. But we'll get to that later. We have bigger and more important things to worry about now."  
"-My pantry? Erlack, Gee. I just had some canned peaches from there."  
"Shush. Try not to get sidetracked, Ro."  
"Alright, what?"  
"I'm depressed."  
"About what?"  
"The ancients are coming home monday afternoon."  
"I know,c'est terrible."  
"C'est tres tres terrible, mon amie."  
"I am going to miss the silence of this house."  
"-So now that thats through...MY PANTRY?"  
"Relax, there was no 'Rosie and Sven' business going on in there. Just the usual. Nothing to worry about."  
"Did you snog in there?"  
"Well yes...quite a bit actually."  
"Then theres something to worry about."  
_Yawn_. I am much too level headed to respond to this statement she made. For I am level headed Georgia. The...er...level headed one. I make no sense.

**7:00 pm**

Went to the cinema with Dave. Bought some snacks, found our seats and waited for the film to start. I was expecting Cameron Diaz or Brad Pitt (yum) to come on the screen but much to my suprise someone else, not as famous...but as yummy as Brad Pitt.  
I leaned over to Dave,  
"What is Robbie doing here? He's with a girl!"  
The nerve! After only a day of heartbroken-ness he's out with some dithery blonde girl whom I think is named Sam.  
"You're not jealous are you?" Dave asked suspiciously.  
"No...of course not. Why would I be jealous when I have you?" I snuggled close to him. Boys are very sensitive creatures, you see, and sometimes to make them think that everything is alright you have to cuddle them...this know I because yoda I am

While everyone else in the cinema was swallowing eachothers faces, Dave and I cuddled and watched the movie. HA! We have a deeper relationship then the rest of these prats around us...we don't need to swap spit every other second.

**3:00 am**

Dave asked if he could spend the night! We were snogging on my bed and he said he didn't want to go home. I told him he could spend the night if he wanted and he accepted. I am such a minx. He is such a minxo.

We very nearly made it to Rosie and Sven level. I was actually frightened, mabye thats why I pushed him off at the last minute. He was very nice about it though. He said,  
"Yeah, I don't think we're ready either."

Which is what has been keeping me up all night. What does he mean we're not ready? How does he know how ready we are for something? Does he have a special scale of readyness? I don't understand boys. When will we ever be ready for Rosie and Sven level? Too many questions for such a tired girl.

Dave is too cute. He's in bed beside me all cuddled up beside me with his arm around me and his head resting on my nunga...which is actually pretty uncomfortable. I tried shifting him off but it didn't work, he mumbled something in his sleep and then went right back. So I tried poking him, but he slapped my hand away and mumbled something else that I couldn't understand. So I have to live with this extra weight on my nunga for the night...alas.

I really am depressed that the ancients are going to be back in only a day. No more peace and quite. Oh well...I suppose I'll get used to it again.

**Sunday May 29th**

**10:30 am**

Woke up to a loud roaring noise and Dave jumping up from my nunga like a deer in headlights.  
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY DAUGHTERS BEDROOM!" Came the voice of...oh no...Vati.  
Dave was muttering excuses while running around trying to gather his stuff but my dear old father grabbed him by the collar and held him up in front of him.  
"What are you doing here?"  
I should be asking...what is he doing here? He's not supposed to be back for a day. Perhaps I'm dreaming. I tried kicking Vati in the shins to see if it was a dream, but it made him yelp and drop Dave to the ground.  
"What are you doing home?" I asked as the other half of the ancient squad entered the room.  
"We got an early flight home to suprise you. Why do you have Dave in your bedroom, Georgia?" Asked mom in a cool voice.  
"He was only staying the night, nothing happened. He's my boyfriend."  
Dave looked at me with pride for a moment, then his look was replaced by fear when vati turned his heavily moustached red face on him.  
"GET OUT!" He roared and pointed to the door. Dave nodded goodbye to me and scrambled out and down the stairs. I heard the front door shut a few moments later.

When he was gone both my parents were staring at me with angry expressions on their faces. Uh-oh. In the midst of all this stressosity I noticed that mutti was still wearing a inhumanely short skirt except now it had a patch of an hamburger a go go land flag on it. I wonder if I moved to hamburger a go go land could the ancients ever find me?...


	8. Chapter eight

**(same day)  
11:30 am**

Ohmigiddygodstrousers. My parents just had a talk with me, _the _talk. I am traumatized. Will I ever be the same? Never. Georgia has left the building.

It was a moment of pure traumosity.

Mutti and Vati sat me down and Vati had a twenty minute long nervy b about Dave being in my bed. I swear my parents do not trust me, I told them at least a thousand times that nothing happened but they didn't seem to believe me until they got so tired of arguing they gave in.

Then, _the talk_, reared its ugly head. The ancients spent quite a bit talking about girly parts and boy-y parts and what your supposed to do with them.  
Then I made a casual joke, and quelle supris (not), they didn't find it funny or "appropriate".

I clapped my hands over my face and exclaimed, "Thats what happens? What happened to the stork?"

They obviously did not understand the hilariosity of it all and so I explained to them,

"I know that the two of you are incurably old and therefore it must be hard for you to pick up on things, butI'm _sixteen _going on seventeen in a few months. Even Libby knows what sex really is, she sees enough of the pornographic lives of you two."

Then Mutti began blabbering on about how much her daughter had grown and how they still think of little old moi as a child sometimes when really I was poised on the brink of womanhood and yadda yadda yadda.

Anywho, I made a quick escape from the madness and dashed back up to my room and now I'm lying in my bed of pain trying to blank out everything they just said to me from my mind.

**11:45 am**

Mmmmm, my bed smells yummy scrumboes like Dave the laugh. I shall never wash these sheets again...unless Libby happens to bring in some pooey knickers or what not, which she undoubtably will.

**8:00 pm**

I was just about to put on a mask and lie down for some beauty sleep when Mutti entered my lurrrrve beaudoire...excellent (not).

"I'm sorry we yelled at you this morning, Gee, it's just that we were worried. Any decent parent would be worried if they found a strange boy in their daughters bed."

"Dave isn't strange...well...for the most part."

"You know what I mean. And well, a girl at your age...you have to be...well...uh, you know, careful...you know this right?"

I nodded like a nodding head thinger-ma-jigger.

"And if you want Dave to sleep over, It's fine with me...just as long as we know that nothing-er-risque is going on."

I snorted. Risque. hadihahahahaha.

There was a moment of awkward silence and I thought it was the the perfect opportunity for one of my witty jokes,

"Mutti, if letting Dave sleep over more means that I will have less scuba diving barbies andhaggus in my bed then I am certain he will be staying every night."

This turned her face immediatly white.

"Er-I'm joking."

"Oh, er-good-I mean, ok. Yeah. Uh...So well, your father wanted me to come tell you that Dave is invited over for tea after you get home from school one day this week. How about Wednesday?"

OhbloodyNo.

"Uh...that sounds-er-fine, Mutti."

She smiled, "Good. Goodnight sweetheart."

"S'later."

**11:47 pm**

What am I going to doooooooooooooooo? I have fallen into a pit of DOOM!

**Tuesday May 31st**

**r.e. **

I looked for Dave the L. after school all yesterday and couldn't find him. He may be avoiding me after that moment of severe disastrosity.

r.e. is bloody boring. Miss Wilson is so into our production of McDuff that shes paying even less attention than usual to the class, I mean it. The Bummer twins are at the back having a fag and Nauseating P. Green has her hamster, Prince Oliver IIII, out on her desk and he is scampering around while astonishly dim monica watches and giggles. It is quite amusing.

All the while the fabs and me are passing our fabbity fab notes,

Jools wrote, _So you havn't found Dave yet? Poor bloke...he doesnt know whats going to be waiting for him wednesday... _

I wrote, _I know what's going to be waiting for him; El beardo in a Ach-aye-land kilt and possibly his legalet ears, and Mutti in her American flag skirt and matching haulter top... _

Rosie wrote, _Yes...indeed, poor bloke. _

Ellen wrote, _So...Dave slept over at your house hmm? _

Honestly, this is the fifth time shes asked me this.

I wrote back, _Yes yes and squillion times yes, he slept over. What is the big deal? _

Jas wrote, _If i say it you will be mad at me again. _

I wrote back, _What are you going to say Jas._

Jas, _Nothing.I told you I'm not saying. _

I wrote back, _Well, I'm angry with you for not telling me now, Jas so there._

Mabs wrote, _Oh brother. _

That about summed it all up.

**3:15 pm**

Walking home with the fabs, I ignored Jas with all the power I possessed.

We were in the middle of talking about mascara or something or other when I spotted Dave, he was hiding behind a bush. I saw the top of his head just hovering there, thinking it was well hidden.

"You lot go ahead, I found Dave."

"Oooer." They all said and walked on.

"Dave!" I yelled but he jumped like a jumpy thing and hid more. What in the name of Satans speedo was he doing?

"Dave!" I yelled again but he stayed hidden, I chased after the little minxo and cornered him.

"What are you doing hiding from me?"

"Uhh...nothing." He said, "I'm more hiding from your Vati."

I burst out laughing like a laughing loon.

"What?" He asked.

"I'm sorry..." I panted through laughter, "It's just I can't picture anyone actually being scared of my vati. You should know all about his ways by now."

"I guess," He said, and he too began to laugh. The two of us laughed like laughy things until we forgot what we were laughing about and went snogging on a park bench.

Just then Mark big gob walked by, joy unbounded. Hewas oggling us like an agog gog...

He actually looked scared of me, or perhaps he was afraid of Dave. Mabye if it hadn't of been for Dave here he would have gotten revenge on me for my feminist rampage at the park a while ago. I saw him then walk off into the distance still watching us agog. He was probably off to one of his new midget girlfriends.

Dave walked me home when it was beginning to get dark, but insisted on dropping me off a few houses away from mine as to avoid the Vati factor.  
We were about to say goodbye when I asked him about tea tommorow.

"What?" He jumped.

"Please, Dave, you know that I of all people do not want you anywhere near El beardo, Loon handmaiden and the sex bum, but they asked me and if you don't come It'll all be my fault. Please. Do it for me."

A cheeky look came over his face, "What will you do for me?"

"Something nice..." We are such a minx/minxo couple!

"Oh, fine then..."

My girly charms succeed again!

We hugged goodbye and as we did his hands slipped down onto my bum, I think he is more of a minxo then I am a minx...which is saying something.

**Wednesday June 1st **

Geoggers

Cannot be bothered to learn about osama-a-go-go land right now because I am much too worried about tonight. Jas gave me what she must have thought was a caring look, I'm still angry with her.

**3:15 pm**

The fabs and me were walking home when I found Dave.

"You ready?" I asked, linking arms with him. He looked white and looked like he had not slept in a squillion hours.

"Dave, if your going to be sick on my new boots, I must warn you I will be forced to kill you."

He gave me a dirty look and didn't open his mouth. Oh nice, I'm trying to be responsible and warn him ahead of time and this is the thanks I get.

"Dave are you alright?"

He nodded, "Yeah I'm fine, Gee. Just...nervous."

"Tell me about it, I'm nervous everytime I see my parents and I live with them." I said, trying with desperosity to lighten the mood. He laughed a little bit.

Rosie suggested that all us girls and Dave should do a round of 'Lets go down to the disco' for good luck.

Dave seemed to be back to his old self when he was animatedly disco dancing with us.

**10:00 pm**

Holy knickers on a hot day!...Dave only _just_ went home. And my parents "discussion" part with him only lasted half an hour. The loon leader sat across the couch from Dave and twirled his el beardo in a way which he thought must have looked menacing. It didn't, it looked like my vati twirling his el beardo trying to look menacing, thats what it really looked like.  
Dave was really jittery and nervous at first and kept looking at me to make sure hewassayingeverything right.  
But eventually he calmed down and mutti brought him a fizzy drink and they all began talking about the Beatles.

**10:05 pm**

Yes, the Beatles.

**10:07 pm**

I didn't know Dave was in to the Beatles, but I guess being his girly partner I'll be learning loaods of new things about him.

**10:10 pm**

Oh god. This means that Dave is going to learn loads about me as well. I must go hide my old nose hammock.

**11:00 pm**

I am wearing the nose hammock again, I was just about to take it outside where I have a pile of my old embarrassing things ready to be burned when I decided that I should try it on again, for old times sakes.

**11:02 pm **

After all my nose is getting quite out of hand, it sort of droops over my upper lip, I think. I asked Jas this and she saidI was mad and quite stupid. Cheers, thank Jas.

**11:30 pm**

Gathered up all the old an embarassing including: Nose hammock, calvin and hobbes poster, boy toy of the month calendar that Rosie gave me for my 15th as a joke (though you never know with her do you?), my old baby blanket and my former-sex god shrine. (I also found a few of Libbs' pooey knickers that I thought were too "used" to be washed so I'm burning them as well)

**11:45 pm**

I've started the fire in the backyard a safe distance away from Vati's "shed" where he does "DIY", although if it did burn down it wouldn'tbe that much of a shame would it?  
Its quite nice and toasty around the fire. I really hope it doesnt wake the ancients though.

**3:00 am**

The shed burnt down. The entire thing was up in flames! I was running for my life, and the the ancients with their super human parental smelling powers came out and mutti screamed and ran to call the fire department. Soon the whole neighbourhood including the fabs were huddled in their jim jams around my house watching, as was Dave the L, Mark big gob, Spotty Norman, Hunky, Tim the foxwood prat, and...erlack...the former sex god, Robbie.

The fabs came over to me at a run,  
"Gee, are you alright?" Yelled Rosie running over to hug me.  
"Yes, I'm fine...its just my vati's shed, its not like its a terrible loss anyway."  
"What were you doing?" Jas asked, "The fire chief just told the crowd that he found a load of half burnt knickers and a half burnt boy toy of the month calendar, he couldn't tell what the rest of the stuff was."  
Oh great, where is this fire chief? He should be expelled from the fire brigade immediately, now everyone in the neighbourhood is going to think I was doing some sort of ritual burning or something.  
"I was burning everything embarassing in my room so that Dave would never find it in a h & h snogging session."  
They were all oggling me, I pushed past them and went towards the crowd to Dave.

"Hey kitty, what happened?" He asked.  
"I was burning stuff and..."  
"-Are you a pyro?" Spotty Norman (wrongly) felt it was his time to interject.  
"No, spot-I mean-Norman, I am not a pyro whatever the whatsit that is."  
"It's when your obsessed with fire." Said Robbie from the other side of the line the boys had formed.  
Cor, he looked groovy and yummy scrumboes and all that jazz in his jim jams. They were the button up kind and he had left the last two buttons undone in a casual way...mmmmmm.  
NO! I will not think of the former sex god, he is old news. Dave the laugh is the only one for me from this moment forward.

**3:05 am**

He just ran his hands through his hair...his gorgey porgey hair.

**4:00 am**

Everyones gone home by now except for the fabs and Dave. He's such a cutie, sacrifice his own beauty sleep to make sure that his poor Gee is safe and sound. He's a proper boy, not like the former sex god who left me to snog sheep and maori women. Grrr.

I had hoped that he would have gone away and be ravaged by a rogue bore like my vati almost did and come back with a deformed face, but he didn't. If anything, he looked better.

Anywho, musn't get side-tracked. I was cuddling with Dave whilst Jools, Rosie, Mabs, and Jas rambled on and on about the fire and Ellen watched Dave and I silently. SHE HAS BRENDEN FOR GOD SAKES!

**4:15 am**

The fabs and Dave have gone home now as well because we all have school tommorow. I was alone now with my parents, who would undoubtably be slaughtering me in a moment.  
They stood sternly infront of me, trying to look menacing AGAIN, and failing AGAIN ha! I could not take vati seriously when he was wearing his tartan jim jams and matching sleeping cap with a tassle on the end.

**5:30am**

Mutti and Vati had a stern yelling at me for almost an hour. They told me I was grounded to my room until stalag 14 got out for summeron the 15th andI was to not see my friends outside of school and _no_ Dave the laugh until then. Then they sent me up to my bed of pain and told me to sleep, but I can't because of the events of tonight and the fact that I have to be up in an hour and a half anyways.

I cant believe I'm grounded until the end of stalag 14! That's two weeks! Two weeks without Dave the laughand the fabs and everyone! I wonder if my "mates" will all forget about me and Dave the laugh will decide he can't wait for me that long and go off nib libbling with Ellen the dith.

This all started with my vati, dave and the beatles. Damn you Vati. Damn you Dave. Damn you John. Damn you George. Damn you Paul. And you too Ringo, don't think I'd forget about you.

* * *

**Authors note:**

**Hey! Sorry for the wait, end of the year exams -groan-. I'm gonna post another chapter soon, mabye even tonight if your all good little children and eat your spinach.**


	9. Chapter nine

**Thursday June 2nd **

**11:00 am**

I overslept! By alot! Mutti and Vati had to leave for work early this morning and so no one woke me up! Damn them all!

I must have fallen asleep whilst cursing everyone in the universe who has a normal life (unlike myself).

**11:05 am**

Clothes. Stocking. Lippy. Brushy hair. "Natural" coat of mascara. Shoes. RUNNNNNNNN!

**11:10 am**

RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN  
Pant. Pant. Pant. RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!  
Pant. Pant. Pant.

**11:17 am**

I made it to stalag 14! But class is in session right now, so I am quite filled with confusosity of where to go.

**11:30 am**

Hawkeye alert! Hawkeye alert! Ran into the bathroom and stood on the toilet. That was too close for comfort.

**11:33 am**

Sat on the toilet and began eating cheesy snacks from my bag.  
I wonder where the fabs are right now? Oh yes, they'll be in maths right now. With the lesbian/math oberfurrher Ms. Stamp. Whom we'll have again after lunch for p.e. Joy unbounded.

**12:00 pm**

I sat in the toilet stall until I heard the lunch bell ring. I ran out to find the girls.  
"Jas!" I saw good old Jassyknickers in the crowd. She didn't hear.  
"JAS!" I screamed again, she turned around, looked, and then shrugged and turned away.  
"JASSSS!" She finally heard me, and waddled over, probably because of her over sized botty protectors.  
"Gee, I thought I heard you calling. But then I thought, it couldn't have been her because she wasn't here today. And then Ikept walking and heard you again and looked all around for you but didn't see you and I thought, I must be feeling a little silly because-"  
"-Jas?"  
"Mmmhmm?"  
"Shut up."  
She ignored my friendly gesture, "So where have you been all day? We were wondering in science for about a minute, then we started learning about magnets."  
Joy. My so-called mates worried about me for a minute before they began learning about magnets.  
Then the excitement of the magnets pushed me right out of their brains. Its nice to know what I have to compete with.  
"I woke up late after last night?"  
"Oooh yes, that was rather awful getting up this morning, I was so tired."  
"Uh-huh, anyways, Jas. What should I say I was doing this morning?"  
"I don't know."  
"Should I say that Angus and Gordy felt the call of the wild and went on a rampage? It's half true, they destroyed my brand new jumper...don't even let me get started on that."  
"Say whatever you want, Gee."  
Then all of the sudden, out of no where, like a..er...thing that comes out of nowhere, was Hawkeye.

"Georgia Nicholson, where were you this morning."

"Er...I-I had to go and...er...see my psychiatrist!"

"Your psychiatrist?" Hawkeye raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, because, as you probably know...er...my shed burnt down last night, and I accidentally started it. It was very traumatizing. And my parents wanted my head checked out just in case...you know."

"Do you have a note?"

"No, ma'am."

"Well bring me one by tommorow." And she stalked off. I really don't like her.

Oh and here comes Wet Lindsay, she is such a drip, shes got this smug smile on her face as she passes me. I hate her so much.

"Hi, Jas. Whats up?" She calls as she passes.

"Uh...nothing, Lindsay. How are you?"

"Cool. I was just wondering if you'd like to go out for coffee sometime or something, seeing as our boyfriends _are _brothers." She looked right at me.

So shes back with Robbie, hmm? That's fine. What do I care. Hmphf.

"Yeah, that sounds great, Lindsay."

I stared at Jas agog.

"What?" She turned to me, she honestly had to ask?

"Oh so now you're best friends with Lindsay are you? She steals everything! My boyfriends, my best friends!"

"Oh cork it, Gee. It's just coffee."

"Coffee with my arch nemesis!" I said with dramaosity.

She only gave me a huffy Jas look and continued to walk.

"So this is how its going to be, is it? I'm going to be grounded for the next two weeks...completely without a social life. And whilst I'm gone Wet Lindsay is going to swoop in and take my place, and your going to let her!"

"Don't be so silly, Gee, you're only grounded for two weeks. And we'll see you all the time at school."

"That's besides the point, Jas. I hope you and Lindsay have fun being a little lesbian couple!"

That showed her.

**3:25 pm**

Got home by 3:25 today. Partly because the loons made a rule that I must be home by 3:30 every day after school unless there is a McDuff rehearsal or something. And partly becauseI didn't want to be with my so-called mates who leave me all aloney on my oney at home for a wet drippy drip girl who wears a thong that goes up her bum-oley and looks rather disgusting.

**3:30 pm**

And with no forehead.

**9:45 pm**

My first night of isolation has been alright. I danced to some music, painting my toenails tarty red and made a humerous sorry card for the ancients.  
On the front the card had a picture of Vatis shed burning down, and on the inside was a little note saying, '_at least now theres no obligation to do DIY, before you just avoided it all together. I'm Sorry. Love, your little Georgie.  
P.S. When I'm ungrounded I'm going to need a fiver to get a new bottle of 'tarty red' nailpolish cause I spilled it all over my carpet.  
P.P.S. That's another thing I should apologize for. Sorry for spilling nailpaint on the carpet.'_

I thought it was some of my best work. Vati didn't find it as funny as I thought he would.

Also, Dave phoned me. That was quite nice. He said that he was really sorry that I was grounded and that he'd really be missing spending time with me. He told me that tommorow after stalag 14 (our only 5 minutes a day to be with eachother for the next two weeks) he'd snog me within an inch of my life as best he could in 5 minutes. Then Vati yelled upstairs that I wasn't allowed to be on the phone for the next two weeks and that I should be in my room. I said goodbye.

**10:00 pm**

Early to bed early to...er...I dont know- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Friday June 3rd**

**p.e.**

Ms. Stamp wanted us playing football but I was too depressed of my confinement that I stood around the goalie net sighing loudly hoping that my so-called mates would clue in that i am tres tres depressed am in my hour of need.

But none of them come over, they are all too busy running by theblokes on the field in their little gym shorts and giggling (the girls not the blokes)

**3:05pm**

I raced out of the doors today, I wanted to find Dave the Laugh early so that our quick snogging session could last a little longer.

**3:10 pm**

I found him and ran like a madwoman towards him in a great hurry. He got the message and ran up to me.  
"Hey, kitty, I-"  
"No time Dave, snog!" I said breathlessly and pushed him onto a park bench.

**3:20 pm**

We took ten minutes to get all the snogging energy out of us, after all, we only have a teensy bit of time a day.  
"That was nice." He said, twining his fingers with mine, if I had time to I'd note this sweet gesture. But I don't.  
"It was nice. I don't mean to rush out of here though, but if I don't get home at 3:30 on the dot my parents will sell me to hitler for five squid."  
"I understand. But wait, I decided that every day I see you I'm going to give you a little present to remind you of me while your locked up in isolation. It will get you through some pretty lonely times knowing that you've got this sexy thing waiting for you when you get out."  
"Dave, that's really sweet. Thank you."  
He handed me a little wrapped gift, kissed me goodbye and headed off.  
"Don't open it till you get home! AVOID THE GAS CHAMBERS!" He yelled over his shoulder as he walked away.

I glowed with pride asI hurried home, I have the mostamazing boyfriend on the face of the earth. I saw Lindsay and Jas walking along to their little coffee shop meeting and when Lindsay gave me a smug drippy smile I gave her one right back (minus the drippy part) because nothing can bring me down right now. Not even good for nothing trader Jassy-knickers. I am le vagina of the walk!

**3:30 pm**

Got home right on the stroke of 3:30. Mutti was standing by the door waiting forme, Libby was pulling at her american flag skirt saying, "Mumsy I gotsa go peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"  
"Good job, Gee, one more minute and you would have been late. And Libbs, you know where the bathroom is...go ahead."  
"Too late." She said and went off giggling in an evil way.  
I didn't even say anything to Mutti, the second my shoes were kicked off I ran up to the stairs to open Dave's present.

**3:32 pm**

It's a tape! I put it in the machine and listened. Dave's voice came on,  
"Hey kitty! I hope you're listening to this right now and not some strange person that found it on the side of the road, if so...hello strange person, please put down my tape.  
I'm giving you a present everyday and i thought this would be a good idea for a first one. Anyway, I will see youMonday for our five minutes and you will get your next present! This song is all my loving, by the beatles."

And then a song came on,

'Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,  
Tomorrow I'll miss you;  
Remember I'll always be true.  
And then while I'm away,  
I'll write home every day,  
And I'll send all my loving to you.

I'll pretend that I'm kissing  
The lips I am missing  
And hope that my dreams will come true.  
And then while I'm away,  
I'll write home every day,  
And I'll send all my loving to you.

All my loving I will send to you.  
All my loving, darling I'll be true.'

**3:39 pm**

Crikey he really does love those beatles, and even though I was still angry at them for the whole fire business I think I can forgive them because it was quite a groovy song. I danced around the room for a while and did some let's go down to the disco moves. I really really like Dave. _Really._

**Saturday June 4th**

**1:00 pm**

Ho hum, pigs bum. In my room all aloney on my owney. My first of two weekends on my own. I've already listened to my tape from Dave about a squillion times and danced until my head began to hurt.

**2:00 pm**

Began trying to put two strips of makeup on the side of my nose to make it look smaller...it doesnt work.

**2:55 pm**

Listened to Dave's tape again.

**2:59 pm**

It really is quite the catchy song. Mabye Mutti and Vati weren't so wrong to like them.

**3:15 pm**

Went downstairs to asks my parents about the beatles. They literally fell over themselves.

"Why do you want to know?" Vati asked suspiciously.  
"Just wanted to."

**3:30 pm**

The loons became suspicious and mutti somehow got up to my room and convinced me to let her listen to the tape, no matter how much I told her it was my own private business.

I drew the line at dancing. Half way through the song she began waggling her hips about and singing along. I turned it off, I think she has just completely ruined the song for me.

**10:00 pm**

Bored out of my bloody mind.

Rang Rosie.  
"Wait-watch what your doing!-Er, hello?"  
There sounded like a loud crowd in the background.  
"Ro-Ro, what's going on over there?"  
"I'm having a foreign party."  
"What!"  
"A foreign party!" She yelled over the music, which sounded like high pitched wailing, which I later realized was east indian music.  
"What the hell is a foreign party?"  
"Oh ja! Oh ja! Work it chickies!" I could hear Sven shout.  
"What? Sorry, Gee, I couldn't hear you Svens being loud."  
"I SAID, WHAT THE HELL IS A FOREIGN PARTY!"  
"Alright, no need to yell! Everyone is dressing up in a different outfit from different cultures. Like for Germany Jas came in one of those little German girl dresses with pigtails. And Dave is here too!"  
"Really?" Dave was there, "What is he wearing?"  
"He's dressed as a Canadian, he came in a hockey uniform!"  
I laughed, "What is he doing right now?"  
"I don't know! I think I just saw him off talking to Ellen!"  
"Ellen?" Why was he talking to Ellen? He wouldn't be...you know, getting friendly with her would he?  
"Yes! Anyways, we all really miss you!" I could hear them all having fun in the background.  
"Sure sounds like it." I grumbled, stupid prats. They should know by now that a party just isn't a party without me.  
"Anyways, Gee, I gotta go-Hey Lindsay! When did you get here!" She sounded muffled, her hand was over the phone. But I could definately hear what she said. Lindsay was at the party, those two-timing so-called mates of mine!  
"S'later, Gee." She came back.  
I hung up.

**10:05 pm**

What kind of fun could be a party with Lindsay the extremely wet drip there and not me?

**10:08 pm**

And why was Dave talking to Ellen?

**10:25 pm**

I tried to ring Rosie again to speak to Dave, but no one answered this time. I am in sheer desperadoes now.

**10:45 pm**

Listening to the tape for the second squillionth time.

* * *

**A/N  
Hey guys! I'm so glad you all ate your spinach!Props to you all. I'll post again soon. Right now however I'd like you all to check out my other ff, its of Donnie Darko and its alot more serious than this but its good and it only has one review, and compared to this one it feels quite lonely and jealous of this fic! (no I am not crazy...go read!)**


	10. Chapter ten

**Sunday June 5th**

**8:00 pm**

Today was so chalked full of bordemosity I literally slept the entire day. And the times that I wasn't sleeping I spent listening to my tape, wondering what my next present is, and contemplating when the hell I'll be ready to go to Rosie & Sven level.

**10:00 pm**

I wonder what Dave the L. And Ellen the dith were talking about. Dave said he would forever be faithful to me. Ok, well he didnt say that-but he implied it.

**1:00 am**

I really should be sleeping because I do have school tommorow, but this is a moment of sheer desperadoes. Perhaps I should speak with Dave tommorow? He is my horn advisor and he did say that lads like things more straight forward. But I'd need more than just 5 minutes to be able to snog and speak to him about Ellen the D.

**  
Monday June 6th **

8:30 am  
walking to stalag 14

Alas, school again. Everyone will be speaking about Rosie's not-so-fab foreign party. It could not have been fab without me there, therefore I refuse to believe it was fab as everyone will be saying.

Hmmm...mabye they will not be saying its fab. Mabye it was terrible and everyone will be going around today saying 'erlack were you at Rosies not-so-fab foreign party the other night It was awful. Too bad Georgia wasn't there she would have made it fun!"  
Yes, that is what they will be saying. Not that the party was fab, rather that it was awful and needed the rare essential ingredient...moi.

**8:45 am **

Met Jas at her gate.  
"Hey Gee! Rosie's party was fab! Too bad you weren't there."  
Bleh.

**German**

Hahahahaahahahahaha. Being in my solitary confinement I had forgotten how amazingly funnythe fabs and I could be together. Whilst Herr Kamyer was rambling on about hinkledorffs or something or other Rosie took out a bird puppet that looked quite life like if I do say so myself. She showed it to the rest of us and when we gave the famous klingon salute back she waited for him to turn his back to us and begin writing on the board. When he did she began to crawl up the aisle secretly and then when Herr Kamyer turned back to us the puppet was right in his face. He screamed with much feminosity and ran out of the room.  
Hahahahahadihadihadiha!

**3:30 pm**

Got home just before the grounding nazi was going to hunt me down.  
"Good, just on time again, Georgia. Up to your room straight away-normal procedure."  
It was definately anything but normal, unnatural even, to keep something this beautiful locked away for the rest of her life.

**3:45 pm**

Opened Dave the L's gift for today.  
It was a hand drawn picture of a stick boy in the mountains, blowinga horn. Then below the picture it read,

_I've got the specific horn for Georgia Nicholson.  
See you, kitty. _

**4:00 pm**

Like always with Dave it made little to no sense, but it was so lovely and thoughtful at the same time.

**4:56 pm**

Did some liberating nuddy-pants dancing because HURAH, I finally havea proper boyfriend.

**5:00 pm**

I am a little worried though. Dave only had time to give me my present today because he was hurrying off somewhere with Ellen so I never got to ask him what he was doing with her in the first place. I will stay calm and not jump to any conclusions...

**5:05 pm**

THAT DITHERING COW HAD BETTER KEEP HER PAWS OFF MY LAUGH!

**Thursday June 9th **

**3:35 pm**

It has been exactly a week since I was sentenced for life. My very soul is eating away at itself as I watch the other children frolic around outside.  
The fabs came and made another candlelight vigil to me just like they did when they thought I was off to live with sheep in kiwi-a-gogo land. Jas was wearing such a ludicrously short skirt that even from 10 feet above her I could see her giganticamus knickers. Doesn't that defy gravity or something?

**8:10 pm**

In my jim-jams and a mask getting ready for sleepydreamy time. I have noticed that being isolated from the rest of the world has really thrown my sleeping pattern back to regular time.  
I still can't stop thinking about Dave and Ellen. What were they doing today after school? Ellen is a v. good friend of mine, she would not sneak around my back with him would she. No, Ellen is almost as dim as Jas, which makes her mentally incapable of doing anything mean to anyone else.

**8:15 pm**

Still, she is an amazing speller so she has to have some smarts in her.

**8:20 pm**

I'm not kidding. She always corrects my spelling errors like some sort of grammar teacher. Its quite creepy, actually.

**8:30 pm**

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

**Friday June 10th**

**3:00 pm**

I told the ancients that McDuff was having a rehearsal (when really its on monday) So that I could stay out two hours later, I am so full of geniosity its not even funny.

**5:15 pm**

Found Dave. The two of us waved goodbye to our "mates" (I put quotation marks around mates because my so-called mates are going out partying with wet lindsay and her astonishingly dim other mates). Then after saying goodbye to the backstabbers we began snogging for england. It was quite fun. We snogged for about an hour before Dave stopped and took my hand.  
He looked into my eyes all dreamy like and said,  
"I really like you, Gee. I might even..."  
But I cut him off because I knew that something quite serious was going to come after that and I get uncomfortable around serious Dave. It's like seeing adog meow, or the bummer twins clean.  
"Uh..." I tried looking for a distraction, "...Can I eat your shirt?"  
I must say though I have mucho calmnosity under pressure, yetwhen it comes to boys...I become Ellen.  
He looked away a little sad, I think he got the message though.  
Why did I freak out so much, for all I know he could be saying, "I might even...like maths." Or, "I might even...snog you 'til the cows come home".  
And so what if he did say _it?_ I do really like him. I don't know if it's that far along but...  
Oh bugger I'm reading a little too much into this aren't I?  
Jas must be rubbing off on me.

**6:00 pm**

I'm home in my bed of pain, of course, thinking about what just happened. I was planning to ask Dave about Ellen and have a long discussion with him, but it ended up coming out sort of short.  
I said, "Dave whats been going on with you and Ellen?"  
He said, "Ellen? Oh nothing. We've become friends again I think, no more awkwardness. Why?"  
"Oh. Just wondering."  
"Are you jealous?"  
I looked at himwith a look of proposterosity, "Of course not."  
He laughed, "Yes you were...you were jealous! HA!"  
"No I was not!"  
"Yes you were!"  
"No!"  
"Yes!"  
"NO!"  
"YES!"  
Then we began snogging again.  
Oh brother.

**6:15 pm**

At least at the end of it he did something really dreamy. He ran his hands through my hair all slowly then looked into my eyes like there was something interesting about them (fat chance) and then leaned in slowly and whispered, "You are the only one for me. Ever." Then he handed me a gift, gave me one last snog and walked off.

**6:30 pm**

I still havn't opened my gift...I'm quite nervous.

**9:00 pm**

Still haven't opened it. Mum poked her head in an hour ago to ask what Dave had given me today and I told her to bugger off because it was my personal business and the sight of her in that skirt made me want to vomit.

**9:30 pm**

She got a little shirty after that.

**11:45 pm**

Still havn't opened it...

**12:45 pm**

I can't do it. I'll wait until tommorow.

**1:34 pm**

I wonder if my so-called "mates" are having a right blast out with that wet stick insect excuse for a girl.

**1:35 pm**

And her astonishingly dim friends.

**Saturday June 11th **

**6:57 pm**

Alright, its the moment of truth. I've been waiting all day in my room, staring at this one little package from Dave. It's been driving me insane. I haven't been able to think of anything else all day except what might be in that package, I am quite afraid of what may be inside actually.  
But I must open it now, I've been putting it off too long.

**7:30 pm**

...opening NOW.

**8:00 pm**

...Okay, no, opening NOW!

**9:00 pm**

...Alright, I swear I'm opening it now.

**10:00 pm**

It wastwo sock puppets! I've been worrying about sock puppets for the past day anda half! The puppets were fashioned to look like Dave and I. Theres a little note on Dave that says,

_You can figure out just what your going to do to me after you become a free woman on these puppets. Practice makes perfect.  
Love,  
Dave._

**10:35 pm**

Erlack! Does he expect me to make these puppets snog and pretend they're us! No way in hell!

**11:20 pm**

Just tried it. Ooer, I really miss Dave now. And monday is so far away...

* * *

**Authors Note:**

Howdy Y'all! I'm going on vacation with my older sister to Europe! We're going to backpack all aroundfor a month (except we're gonna stay in hotels because we're wimps and we have dads credit card...he's not too happy about that one.) It's gonna be amazing! I've never been to Europe before! When I'm in England I'm going to walk around London and the cities and get inspired by stuff for the next chapters! WOOT! But the downside to all this is that I'm going to be gone for a month, which means no chappys for quite a while. As long as you all promise to stay with me and not think I abandoned you or something, I wont worry too much. It's only a month after all. I'm leaving tommorow at 5:30 pm my time. I'm really excited. I've known about this trip for like a month now but I've never said anything on here cause i've been so busy with exams and school ending and everything lately. So I ended up telling you guys I'd be gone for a month the day before, I'm really sorry about that. So yeah, just hold in there...I swear I'll come back. I swear I wont meet some groovy looking massimo-esque boy in Italy and run away to discover my italian roots-I SWEAR (cough) lol. Ok, thanks for being such great readers and I love getting comments from you guys! SEE YAS!


	11. Chapter eleven

**Monday June 13th**

8:30 am

Oooer only two days left until I'm free! And when I'm free it will be the beginning of Summer hols! When I saw Jas this morning I manic disco danced up to her and then gave her a big wet kiss on the cheek!

"That is for you mon petitelezzy!"  
"Erlack! I'm not the one whos a lezzy here!"  
I was in far too good of a mood to listen to her moaning and groaning.  
"Jas, guess what day it is the day after tommorow!"  
"What day is it the day after tommorow?" She didn't seem too keen but I knew that deep down she was.  
"Guess!"  
"I'd rather not."  
"Just do it or I'll stuff your knickers up your bum-oley."  
"Fine. Er...are you getting new lippy?"  
"Jas,do you really think I'm that superficial?"  
"Well I don't know you got this excited last time you got new lippy."  
"Well that was onlybecause itsmelled like mango, but that is besides the point. Keep Guessing!"  
"Ugh. Fine. Are you seeing Dave?"  
"No. Well, I might. I expect we'll be having a snogging olympics by then."  
"Oooer, I know now! It's summer hols!"  
"Almost."  
"And your off solitary confinement?"  
"Mais oui ma jassyknickerbop!" And I gave her another ceremonial kiss on the cheek, despite her complaints.

**assembly**

Blast. Slim is jiggling on about something, she is giving us a lecture on how to be safe in the summer hols. I will definately not miss Slims jiggling/lectures.

**r.e.**

I will also not miss Miss Wilson blithering on about her sad boyfriend, _Pierre_.  
She did have a rather interesting announcement to make, though. She told us that our production of McDuff had run a little late. We were going to be performing it at the local community theatre on the tenth of July. Which meant we would have to have practices DURING the summer. Bloody brilliant.

**3:00 pm**

Raced out to find my wonderful boy-y partner, David the apparent laugh. Hahahadihahaha.  
"Hello, David the apparent laugh!" I shouted as I meandered my way up to him, except I didn't meander because I came at him with a fast run.  
He laughed as well, "Hi, gorgeous, you are in an exceptionally good mood today."  
"The birds are chirping, angus is purring and Elvis is somewhere on retirement with his wife-in the nude! But I won't let that thought get me down!" Then the two of us began to dodisco dancing inferno.

"Blimey you are amazing," David the apparent laugh panted as we finished dancing and fell onto the grass.  
"Let's snog!" I yelled and snog we did. Right there on the grass we made it to number 7 but I don't care if my nungas are being molested in public, because you know what? I LOVE IT! hahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah  
hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah  
hahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah  
(I think I am quite insane...or just in a very very very good mood.)

**3:32 pm**

Home just before the nazis were going to come after me. Now that there are only two days left in my confinement my parents have become more strict on the punishment. I was sent straight to my room the second I got home. But I didn't care because life was fabbity fab fab and yummy scrumboes and scrummy yumboes and all that jazz.  
"Hellooooo Vati! You are looking quite nice today, oh I see what you've done...you've trimmed your badger beard oh how nice, how nice indeed! And mutti, why you look absolutely tarty- I mean STUNNING in your hamburger a go go mini skirt. Ah, yes, and Libbsy, the cutest of them all. Whats that you've got, bibs? Is that a new toy?"  
Indeed it was a new toy. She had just got herself a mr. potato head, and I had accidentally stepped on his eye.  
"Bad boy! Bad boy!" Libby shouted and hit me right in the conk with mr. potato heads hat. I noticed that she was trying to shove our lord sandra into the back compartment of the potato...how nice.

**4:00 pm**

**in my room**

Opening my present from Dave the L.  
I'm quite excited, what could it be? It was a v. v. small package and as I opened it it revealed a little ring box. Oh bloody hell? WAS HE GOING TO ASK ME TO MARRY HIM?

**4:05 pm**

Rang Jas.  
"Jas?"  
"What?"  
"Don't say what?"  
"Sorry, what is it that you want Georgia the great?"  
"Thats more like it. Now, Dave is asking me to marry him!"  
"What?"  
"DON'T SAY WHAT!"  
"Pardon?"  
"He's given me a little ring box!"  
"Have you opened the little ring box?"  
"No."  
"Then how are you sure he's going to ask you to marry him?"  
"I just know, a woman knows these things, Jas."  
"What are you going to say?"  
"I don't know I guess I'll have to have a think on that."  
"Alright, bye."  
"Jas I wasn't saying goodbye I was just saying I wanted to have a think!"  
She was silent, she was probably looking in the mirror thinking how much she looks like Claudia shiffer. Then I realized she had hung up. Grr.

**5:00 pm**

Opened the ring box...it wasa bloody promise ring! And it was plastic witha smiley face jewel! Something that would be v. v. sweet if it wasn't for the fact I was expecting something so much more.

**9:00 pm**

What a disastrosity. I expect everyone will know about my supposed engagement by tommorow courtesy of Radio Jas.

**10:30 pm**

I wonder what I would say to Dave, though, if he had really asked me to marry him. Hmmm. I really would have to think on that. He really is a lovely boy, and I enjoy snogging him more than any of the other boys I've snogged (I havn't had all that much experience with good snoggers though I must say). And he is very groovy looking, and I get a nice feeling in my tummy whenever I'm around him. Mabye I would say yes.

**1:05 am**

Phwoar I've just thought of our kiss in the park today after school. I really want to get to number 10 with him...someday possibly.

* * *

**A/N**

Thats right kiddies, I'm home! I really hoped you liked this chapter and there will be more soon! Thanks a bunch for waiting while I was on vacation.

Emma


	12. Chapter twelve

**Hi guys! The stupidest thing EVER happened! I sent in a chapter twelve, and somehow my computer deleted it before i could even get back up of it. I was so mad. So now I can only remember a few things that happened in chapter twelve but I'll try to write it the same I did before, some of you already had read the chapter that was deleted, I hope you like this one as much. sorry.**

**Emma.**

**

* * *

**

**Tuesday June 14th **

**assembly**

Slim is giving us some sob story about her childhood. Boo-di-hoo-hoo. On a lighter note, I found out there is a stiff dylans gig at the buddha lounge this friday! Cooooolioso! I will be out of solitary confinement by then and will be able to party to my little hearts content.

**r.e.**

Oh, how unbelievably sad.  
Ms. Wilson has brought her sad saggy boyfriend _pierre_ the frenchy into class today to announce they were engaged. Double emphasis on the saggy. He has male nungas! I hope the two of them have a happy life together in their house of sad, cor his nungas are almost as big as my muttis. And thats saying something.

**3:10 pm**

McDuff rehearsal. Oh joy. Shakespeare was so incredibly boring, and he's setting such a terrible example for us british folk. I'll bet you a squillion pounders that people over in hamburger a go go think we still use words like 'thee, ye, and forsooth'.

Nauseating P. Green has been following me around all rehearsal telling me lovely (not) stories about Prince Oliver IV's new litter of baby vermin. She wants to give one to me. Joy unbounded.

**5:00 pm**

I got out of McDuff rehearsal fifteen minutes earlier than normal so as to have half an hour with my beloved.  
Where is that loveable lad?  
"Dave the laugh? O Dave the laugh? Where for art thou Dave the laugh? Deny thy father,  
refuse thy name...er...uh...yeah."

Spotted him!

**10:00 pm**

Hmm had quite the lovely half an hour with Dave the apparent laugh. He gave me a gift and I am just unwrapping it now.

**five minutes later...**

Its a llama!

**two minutes later...**

No, I'm not kidding...a llama.

**11:00 pm**

What in the name of sir elton johns pantyhose was he thinking? He gave me a llama that when you pull back his long neck shoots candy hearts out of his bum-oley.

**12:15 am**

Hahahahahahahaha he gave me a llama!

**Wednesday June 15th**

**8:45 am**

Yessss! The last day of stalag 14 for the summer hols! The fab five walked to school together linking arms and singing, 'Schools out for summer!' and then doing a ceremonial disco dancing inferno. Alas, Wet lindsay and her incredibly sad mates were walking along beside us and decided to join in with us. Since when has Lindsay _ever_ had a sense of humor? I always thought she was an ugly humorless troll, but thats just my opinion.

I hate Jas.

**assembly**

Slim is giving us our last assembly speech.

"We had a very productive year aside from a few of you (-looks straight at me-), and I look forward to seeing all of you next year. yadda yadda yadda..."

I wonder if she has to have one of those built in toilets in her bed because shes too big to get out and go to the piddly diddly department in the middle of the night.

I asked Rosie in a very hushy hushy voice, "I wonder if she has to have one of those built in toilets in her bed because shes too big to get out and go to the piddly diddly department in the middle of the night."

Rosie began laughing histerically. I was being serious though.  
She won ourselves two bad conduct marks on the very last day of school. Cheers, Rosie.

**maths**

It was quite sad saying goodbye to ms. stamps moustache which I did (very quietly of course) but the fabs were giggling so hard that ms. stamp had a nervy b. and seperated us for the rest of class. Poo.

**p.e.**

ugh, double ms. stamp. It's a good thing this is the last day. Ms. Stamp looked quite sad as we hopped into the showers in our nuddy pants for the last time this year. She must be sad not to see another naked womans body for the whole summer.  
I thought I saw a little tear trickle down her face, or mabye it was just the water I splashed her with by accident when i dropped the hose thing in my shower cubicle thingy and it started spraying everywhere...yes that was probably it.

**lunch**

I was heading to my locker to find my very nutricious lunch (a jammy dodger and a fizzy drink) when I heard a quiet voice calling my name,  
"Georgia...pssst."

I looked out the window and there, hiding behind some bushes was Dave the apparent laugh! Hahahahha my beloved had snuck out of his school and into mine!

"Dave! What are you doing here?" I ran out to greet him. He pulled me behind the bushes with him, kissed me, and said,  
"I came to give you your last present..."  
"But it's only half past noon."  
"This one is special."  
"Oh...well I thought the llama was quite special. I laughed my arse off for centuries. Libby enjoyed it very much too, she came in and started playing with it. She made up a new song! It goes, 'llama llama poopy bum! bum oley bum oley! llama llama sweety poopies, I love to eat my llamas poopies!" And the song goes on like that for a while, and then my vati came in and made a dance that went with the song it was actually quite funny seeing el beardo dancing to the sweety poop song and he did this weird sort of jig thing where he went-"  
"-Georgia I love you."  
WHAT!  
I didn't get to finish my story, and he interupts me with _that_. Oh my, now its awkward, what do I say back to that? I do like him very much but do I...love him? I don't know. Too much information! System overload! System overload!  
"Ahem. There are no _boys _allowed on school property unless there is special permission, which I assume you did not get. Well, well, well...Georgia Nicholson, you should know the school rules by heart by now, you seem to break everyone of them." It was my all time best chum in the entire world (not), Thongy mcSticklegs (also known as extremely WET Lindsay)  
"Hello, Lindsay. Er, I was just lost and Georgia was coming out to show me the way out of the school. I swear." Dave made a feeble attempt.  
"I wonder what Ms. Heaton will think about this?" And she traipsed off to find her master.

**2:30 pm**

Sitting in slims office, shes babbling on for a squillion years about proper behaviour and how I am the only girl in the history of this school to get five bad conduct marks on the last day of school (one from assembly, one from giggling in maths, one from spraying everyone in the showers and a whopping TWO for having a boy on school property). I have to say I feel a litle honored. She said there was nothing she could do for punishment now, seeing as there is summer hols tommorow, but she said that next term I am to clean the coat rooms every day for two months. Joy unbounded. While she was babbling though, I couldnt help getting that squirmy squirmy feeling in my stomach...what was I going to do about Dave?

On my way out the Jackie and Alison Bummer were sitting in Slims waiting room of death, they stuck their feet out and tripped me as I walked by. They laughed like a pack of hyenas in a comedy club. I could not find the hilariosity in all this, but then again...they are pretty daft. I gave them a pitying look because theyre so daft, they cant help being mean snots when they are ever so lacking in their brain capability. They just kept sniggering though and said,  
"It's amazing she wasn't hurt from that fall straight on her face!"  
"I suppose her nose broke the fall." And that set them off laughing again, until Slim poked her extra large head with all its wobbly chins outside of her office, then they became as silent as two silent things.A  
Serves them right for joking about my nose. Still, Dave the laugh loves me, even if I have a giganticamus nose, so there must be something lovable about me.  
That's just got me thinking all about Dave the laugh again, what am I going to dooooo?

**3:00 pm**

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The fabs and I all walked home together again with linked arms, and AGAIN with wet lindsay by our side. She smirked everytime she looked at me. She is really trying to steal my bestest pally. She kept linking arms with her and pulling her away from me, and calling her jassy spassy her "best friend". This made me really upset, along with all the dave the laugh mumbo jumbo going on in my head.

I could only dance half-heartedly when they did another celebritory lets go down to the disco dance. Alas.

**3:15 pm**

Once we had gotten rid of the rest of the fabs, and _you know who_ I was able to have a heart to heart talk with good old jassy knickers.

"Jas, Do you still love me?"  
"Oh, Gee, please don't start with that love crap."  
"But, I mean it, you havn't been spending time with me lately. You have been spending alot of time with Wet Lindsay-"  
"-Don't call her 'wet Lindsay'"  
"You never used to mind when I called her that." I grumbled with grumbleosity.  
"Yeah well, shes my friend now, and you're going to have to get used to that."  
"I know Jas! It's just that she kept calling you her bestest pally today, but your _my_ bestest pally not _hers_."  
Then Jas did something remarkably un-Jaslike, she turned around and pulled me into a big hug.  
"Oh, Gee, no one could ever replace you as my best friend. _No one._"  
"Not even a wet stick insect with a tiny forehead and a disgusting thong up her bum-oley?"  
"No not even that." She tried to give me a stern 'Jas' look but she was giggling, "Lindsay has been following me around alot lately, thats been weird...she'll never be part of the fab five thats for sure."  
"Well thats good, I was starting to get vair vair worried."

Then we hugged again and I mosied on over to my house, where my vati was undeniably waiting for me to arrive fiddling with his badger chin.

**3:30 pm**

"Congratulations Georgia...you're grounding is over. How was school?"

The sweetest words I've ever heard my vati say...well, minus the school part.

**11:00 pm**

in my bed of pain

Why is life so unbloodyfantastic? Does someone out there hate me? I have only just been delivered the sorry news from el beardo mountain message man (he was wearing a lederhosen for german night at the pub...how indubitably sad). Mutti and Vati are going out for a 'date' on friday evening and they can't find anyone to babysit Libby, so I am being forced against my will to babysit that night when I should be off on my way to the buddha lounge looking extra sex goddess-y.

**11:05 pm**

How wonderful, Angus and Naomi are having a lurrvefest at the end of my bed...  
There is a lot of yowling involved and I for one don't particularily want to watch a cat porno.

**11:12 pm**

This is so disgusting! I don't want two cats getting to 'Rosie and Sven' level on my bed! This is where I have to get my beauty sleep! I tried to push the two of them off but they just swatted at me.

**11:30 pm**

Being forced to sleep in the living room on the sofa, it is quite the life I leaf.

**11:32 pm**

Hahahahahahahahahahaha I just said life I leaf! It is amazing how I can keep my keen sense of humor in times as depressing as these.

**12:00 pm**

Rolley rolley on the sofa-y. Vair vair uncomfortable. It will be amazing if I ever get to sleep.

I wonder what Dave the laugh is doing right this moment?

I wonder if he's thinking about what he said to me today?

I wonder if he's wondering what I'm doing right this moment?

I wonder if he's wondering about me wondering about him right now?

I wonder if he thinks I'm insane. Probably.

**12:05 pm**

But he still loves me, hahahahaha.

eep.

**

* * *

**

**HEY! More coming soon I swear! Only three or so chapters left until this fic is finito! Don't worry I'll probably make a sequel...it depends thought on how much feedback I get, should I make a sequel?**

**Thanks guys!**

**Emma.**


	13. Chapter thirteen

**Thursday June 16th**

**12:00 pm**

My first day as a free woman, what to do what to do?

**12:00 am**

Spent the entire day doing absolutely nothing but sitting on my bum and thinking about what Dave the Laugh said, it is quite the confusing situation.  
He called today, that was probably the most eventful part of the day.  
This is how the fab conversation went,

"Hi, Georgia...it's Dave."  
"Oh...er...hi Dave."  
"Hi."  
"..."  
"..."  
"So, er, what did you do today? Now that your not grounded?"  
"Nothing much. Vati had his mates around today and there was alot of ancient people being prat-tastic, and thats about it."  
"Wow."  
"Yeah, it was very...wow. So, how was your day?"  
"Um...good."  
"That's good."  
"Yeah."  
"..."  
"..."  
"Ok, I'm going to go. Bye, Georgia."  
"Bye."

And that was it.  
He was very unlaughable tonight.

**12:07 am**

...and boring.

**Friday June 17th **

3:00 pm

Today is the day of the stiff dylans gig at the buddha lounge, but with great unfortunosity I will be babysitting satan in deelyboppers.

**3:30 pm **

I take it back. She is too cute, she has just brought me a card with angus on the front. He is wearing Mutti's hamburger a go go flag skirt and has a badger beard like Vati. It is vair vair amusante. On the inside the card says, _i Lov yo Gergia._

**6:00 pm**

Jas rang.  
"Gee?"  
"Jas? Is that you? Oh my, it must be! I'm sorry it's just that I haven't heard your voice in such a long time, when was the last time you rang? Last Christmas? Yes, I think that was when it was.  
"Georgia, shut up...I've called to tell you some news."  
"what?"  
"Dave is taking ellen to the gig tonight."  
"WHAT?"  
"I know."  
"But...why is he doing that?"  
"Ellen said that he called her and asked her to come, plain and simple. And Brandon is out of town with his family and she had no one to go with so she said yes."  
"I can't believe it. What a trader."  
"Georgia, you did snog Dave quite a few times while they were going out."  
"Shut up Jas, this is not the time for input!"  
"I'm sorry, I was just trying to help."  
"Why would he take her though? He told me he loved me!"  
"Well mabye he thinks you don't feel the same cause you never said anything."  
"Oh, yeah...mabye."  
"Do you feel the same?"  
"I really really really REALLY like him. I don't know about love though."  
"Well, mabye you should tell him that then.  
"Mabye..."

Life is so full of confusionosity right now I don't know how I'm even remembering to eat, not that theres anything to eat here anyway.

**7:45 pm**

I have hit rock bottom. I had to call cousin James for help. That is how incredibly sad this situation has become. But I can't just sit here all night making sure Libby doesnt try to poo in Angus and Gordy's cat box when my boy-y partner is off with another girl.  
Cousin James was very happy when I called, he said he would love to babysit. I made him promise not to say anything to the ancients though, because they would surely have a nervy b.

**8:30 pm**

I'm all ready for the gig and waiting for Jas to arrive so we can walk over together. Mutti and Vati left an hour ago and said they would return around one in the morning.They told me they are going out dancing after dinner. When I began to laugh they got very huffy and I realized they weren't kidding. How sad.

**8:47 pm**

Jas is here, but James is not. He is taking forever. Libbs is off in the corner playing with Sandra and mr. potato head, she is so sweet. I almost feel bad for leaving her alone here with the insestual hobbit James, but myneed is much greater than hers at the moment. Sorry Libbs.

**9:00 pm**

He finally arrived. When he saw Jas and I all dressed up he asked if we could play a quick game of tickly bears all three of us before we left.  
If you have to ask what my answer to that was then you are quite daft and should check yourself into the loony home with my grand-dad. He probably would love some company now that his elderly girly-partner, that knitted me a bunch of crap, has left him for a younger better man (with a false leg).

**9:20 pm**

At the buddha lounge.  
Jas and I scanned the area for a sign of Dave and Dither spaz (aka Ellen)  
So far they hadn't arrived. Jas and I found Rosie, Jools and all the rest of the gang and we danced for a while.

**11:00 pm**

What a night,my eyes are swollen and puffy fromcrying I look like hell in amini skirt.I think lesbianism is the only way out.

They had finally arrived. Ellen looked especially dither spazish tonight. She kept touching him on the arm and laughing very loudly at everything he said. She was doing her attractive (not) laugh. I wanted to go up and slap the two of them straight across the face.

I went up to them and Dave looked very suprised, it was quite an amusante look actually, and if it hadn't been for my extreme madnosity I would have laugh like a loon.

"Dave...I didn't know you were taking Ellen."  
"Oh...well, I thought that since you were babysitting I could bring Ellen."  
"You didn't even _ask _me Dave, I'm supposed to be your girly-partner!"  
"Well, I thought you didn't want to go out with me anymore!"

People were beginning to stare, and you know me...I hate being the center of attention. So Dave and I went outside to continue arguing/talking.

"When did you get the idea I didn't want to be your girly-partner anymore?"  
"Because when I told you I...loved you, you didn't answer. You got scared."  
"That doesnt mean I want to break up with you...I just, don't know if I feel that strongly about you yet."  
"Oh."  
"Yeah...I really really really like you Dave, alot."  
"But you don't feel the same way I do."  
"Well, not yet...mabye some day I will but-"  
"-I think we should break up then."  
"What?"  
"If you don't feel the same way I don't think I can do it anymore."  
"But..."  
And then he walked back into the club looking very sad.

I stayed outside for a little while, taking in everything he said. He broke up with me...because I dont feel the same? How incredibly stupid is that?

I cried for a little while until Jas came out and found me.

"Gee what happened?"  
"Dave...broke up with me."  
"What?"  
"He just said we didn't feel the same way and said we should break up."  
Jas hugged me and I cried for a while with her.

About a half an hour after that we went back inside to get our jackets so we could leave. Inside I saw Ellen and Dave dancing, Ellen looked very happy but Dave didn't seem so happy to be dancing, he looked miserable in fact. Serves him right.

Jas tried to block me from the two love birds, I hope theyre happy together. The prat-tastic twosome.

And now I'm home and Jas is beside me, she slept over to make sure I didn't kill myself tonight. We sent James home, he was very reluctant, but we are very forceful when it comes to matters of sheer desperadoes. Libby was in bed already (a miracle!) so me and Jas got into my bed and I've been talking to her all about Dave the Laugh.

**1:10 am**

The ancients slammed into the house and woke Jas and myself up. They were drunk beyong the valley of drunkeness and they blundered up the stairs knocking into things and yelling,  
"Theoctopus hasgot your father! ARRRRGH!" And then another bang would come.  
It was amazing that Libby didn't wake up through all of this. I'm glad she didn't though, or I would have to accomodate her, mr. pototo head, sandra and scuba diving barbie in my bed along with myself, Jas and her giganticamus pantibus.

**1:30 am**

Jas has gone back to sleep, Libby has woken up and crawled into bed with us...joy unbounded. I am too distraught to complain at the moment however,I don't know how I'll ever get to sleep.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

* * *

**A/N**

Hey guys! Hope you liked this chappy! It's a little more serious than usual, but don't worry...there is more sillyness to come!  
Love,  
Emma.


	14. Chapter fourteen

Friday June 18th

4:00 pm

Jas has only just left. She had to go back to her house for dinner. I wish I could say the same thing about myself. However Mutti, Vati and Libbs have gone out for dinner at some new family restaurant. They asked me to go,

"Georgia, sweetie, would you like to go out to dinner with us?"  
I just gave Mutti a look.  
"...well?"  
"Mutti do I look in the sort of condition to go out for dinner?"  
"Is something wrong?"  
"No. Leave me alone!"

Apparently they are going to a restaurant where you all have to wear sombreros and say, 'aye aye aye!' alot. I would have gone for the sheer hilariosity of it all but I am heart broken so I thought better of it.

Sunday June 19th

7:00 pm

I have not done anything productive in the past two days, it is very unlike myself. It is also very lonely, none of my so-called mates have rang to check in and see if I've killed myself yet. I think I shall clean my room, it is getting a bit pingy pongoes.

**7:30 pm**

Alas, I can't be bothered.

**Monday June 20th**

8:00 am

Up at the crack of all cracks. I must do something today that does not involve lying in my bed of pain (and filth), eating Jammy Dodgers infront of the telly, or sitting at my bedroom window watching the world go by around me. Except the only thing I would see out my window was Vati tinkering with his incredibly sad robin mobile and the occasional appearance of Mark big gob off to molest some innocent midget.

9:30 am

Decided to get back on my plan to get in shape. Although the reason I was doing it then was to get in shape for Rosie and Sven level, and at this point I don't think I will ever make it to number 10. Erlack, I could be one of those people who are ancients and still virgins. Cousin James will probably be one of those people, perhaps I could make a plan with him that if both of us are still virgins by the time we are 45 we will have eachother...

9:32 am

ERLACK! ACK! GAH! AHHH! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!  
I must make a mental note to myself that it will **NEVER** under any circumstances come down to cousin James, even if I'm 100 and still a virgin!

**9:35 am**

Running. Running. Trying to get the picture out of my head. Running. Running. Pant. Pant. Pant. Run. Run. Pant. Pant.

"Ciao Georgia."  
Oh no. It's Italiano Pratio out for his usual run. What a prat-tastic thing to do, go jogging in the morning. I'm only doing it cause I **NEED **to, Italiano Pratio has more muscles then...er...a muscly thing.  
"Er...Hi, It-I mean, Massimo."  
"Are you running again?"  
"Yes. I am always running, in tip top condition I am."  
"Oh, I never see you running anymore, though."  
"I normally run on different fields."  
"Oh, me as well, which fields?"  
"Er...uh...ummm...the ones over in that direction."  
"I see."  
"Yes."  
Silence. Thank god. I hate his italian accent, no matter how sexy or yummy scrumboes it is...I HATE IT! He is flash, just like Dave the Laugh said. Oops, I just thought of Dave the Laugh. STOP THINKING ABOUT DAVE THE LAUGHING.  
"You seem, how you say, troubled."  
"What?-Oh...no! No trouble here! I am definately trouble free! This is one non-troubletastic girl...er...yes."  
He laughed. Shut up, stupid italiano pratio.  
"I heard about Dave the laugh and you."  
"Oh, well, we are done now."  
"Really? perche?"  
I am going to pretend that I know what he's talking about.  
"Uhhh yes, perche. I like perche."  
He laughed again. Grr.  
"No I mean, why?"  
"Oh...he just, he..." And then I couldnt control myself I was was panting and crying at the same time.  
"Caro, come sit down." He led me to a bench and we sat down.  
"He just...He just told me we didn't feel the same way and then said it was...over." I sobbed and Italiano Pratio patted my back.  
"Don't cry, it's alright. He is a not nice person."  
"No, he is a very nice person. I lost him for good now."  
Masimo was being incredibly nice, and he asked me over for coffee at his house. I went only because I hoped he had some pasta around or something that I could eat...as there is never _real_ food in my house.

12:00 pm

Just left Italiano not so Pratio's house. He did actually have pasta, his mutti is vair vair generous. She said I was too skinny and that my elbows stuck out in a funny way, I was quite miffed at that, no need to rub it in. But she kept feeding me more and more food and now I am quite literally stuffed beyond the valley of stuffedness. Italiano not so Pratio and I talked for a very long time about Dave the Laugh and Lindsay and guess what he told me? He's breaking up with Lindsay for me! He asked me out on a date and said things weren't working with him and Lindsay.  
A month and a half ago I'd be quite happy about this, but now I just feel queasy. I agreed anyhow.

**2:09 pm**

Rosie just rang.  
Emergency ace gang meeting at her house.  
I ran over full of anticipationosity. What could it be about?  
I hope nothing about Dave and Ellen.

2:30 pm

At the meeting.  
Apparently Jools and Rollo have made it to Sven and Rosie level.  
Last night they went out to dinner and then back to Rollo's house and...well you and I both know what happened next.  
She described it to us just as Rosie had when she made it to number 10.  
Also, like when Rosie was telling us, we discussed how far we had gotten to on the snogging scale.  
Jas was being all professional wise,  
"Rosie we know got to 10, and now Jools as well. Gee?"  
"9. What about you Jas?"  
"8 1/2 body snogging. Ellen?"  
"I've made it to 8 1/2 as well with Brandon."  
"Oh...so you're not going out with Dave the laugh?" I asked suddenly.  
"No...we just went to the buddha lounge as friends, Gee. I would never do that to you. Besides, all he could talk about all night was you."  
I felt a little light of happnosity inside myself, they aren't girly and boy-y partners!  
"So you didn't get anywhere on the snogging scale or anything with him?"  
"No, just a kiss on the cheek goodnight. I'm with Brandon, I don't want Dave anymore."  
I jumped up and pounced on Ellen, hugging her. She laughed really hard and then Rosie jumped up and started hugging the two of us and then before you know it it became like some cheesy teen drama where they all start hugging and crying. Yes.

While we were hugging I told them I was going out with Masimo and they all stopped hugging me and gave me a look.  
"What happened to the hugs?"  
"So you just had that big rush of happiness about Dave the Laugh for nothing?" Jas asked in a very wise woman of the woodsish voice that only she could pull off.  
"Not for nothing."  
"Yes for nothing! You're going out with Masimo now? When was this decided?"  
"Just a few hours ago..."  
They all rolled their eyes at me, which I found quite rude indeed.  
"Listen, Dave may still be talking about me, but he doesn't want to be my boy-y partner anymore and he made that quite clear. So I'm moving on. He's having a nervy b. because I don't love him."  
"I think you do love him." Said Jas fiddling with her fringe.  
Grr I wanted to slap her.  
"I do not love him!"  
"I think you do." She just stared at me in that very Granny Jasish way and all the other fabs were watching me too. Go AWAY!  
"I don't! I'm going home!" And I stormed out of Rosies house and onto the street. I walked for a while off in my own little worldy thingy until I bumped into someone.  
"Sorry."  
That voice sounds familiar.  
"Hi Gee, how are you doing?"  
"Fine, David. How are you?"  
"Er...as good as can be expected."  
"That's wonderful, now if you don't mind I'm going to be off to see my boy-y partner, _Masimo_."  
"Oh...Masimo, huh?"  
"Yeah."  
"Thats...great."  
"It is. Now goodbye, David." Yesssss Double cool with knobs! I put him in his place I displayed my great skills of sophisticosity, womanosity and...well, not snogosity.  
"Wait!" He yelled as I walked away.  
"What?"  
"I-I still love you. I just wanted you to know that."  
"Thats...good." Oh bullocks.  
"You know where I am." was all he said and then he headed off. He is a bit on the loony side, that one. But he still loves me, he STILL loves me? After everything! What a sucker, he's still loony for gee. Well too bad for him hahadihahahahahaha I have moved on. And I'm going to go ask Masimo right now to go to number 10 with me, that'll show Dave the apparent laugh.

I knocked on the door of Italiano not so pratio's house and he answered looking all gorgey porgey,  
"Georgia, bella, I did not expect you to be back so soon. Come in."  
I followed him in.  
"Would you like something to drink?"  
I was feeling quite nervous right then but I still managed to keep my cool,  
"Er-nnnghnngh, may I eat your trousers?"  
Well...for the most part.  
He looked at me in a looking at me way and then laughed.  
"Haha, I'm sorry bella but my trousers are not, how you say, edible."  
"Oh...right. Listen, Robbie. I was wondering about something."  
"Yes? What is it?"  
"I was wondering if you would like to..."  
Wait I sound like such a prat-tastic fool, you cannot just ask someone to go to 'Rosie and Sven ft. Jools and Rollo' with you. You must work your way there.  
"...eat my trousers."  
Damn!  
"I am afraid your trousers are not edible as well." He laughed.  
But before he could continue laughing I leaned in for a snogfest. I was going to do it, I was going to get to number 10.

* * *

**A/N  
Hey! This is the second last chapter...which means, dun dun dun...the next one is the very last chapter of the ff! Oooer. Hope you enjoyed it...**


	15. Chapter fifteen

**Same Day**

**3:15 pm**

This is the fabulosity of my life...  
5 seconds into my snogfest with not so italiano pratio and he stopped me.

"What?"  
"Did you just call me...Robbie?"  
"What? When?"  
"A few minutes ago, I just remembered."  
Oh fabbity fab, he's practically eating my face and all he can think about is what I said 3 minutes ago?  
"No...I didn't say anything."  
"Yes you did, you called me Robbie."  
"No I didnt!"  
"I may not have the best english but I know what I heard."  
"Just shut up and lets continue."  
He grumbled but we continued anyhow. That's how irresistable I am.

This was it. I was going to make it to number 10.  
I began to unbutton his shirt and trousers and he did the same for me. It was quite awkward actually and my nungas kept getting in the way.  
So there I was lying in the nuddypants in Italiano not so pratios bed, and we were about to get to Rosie and Sven.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Georgia?" He asked.  
I nodded. But I wasnt sure. I mean, this was quite a giganticamus step, and I wasn't really sure if I was ready.  
Then I started thinking about what Masimo had said, why did I call him Robbie? Was it just a stupid mistake?  
This is as confusing as Ms. Stamp and her moustache giving me an incredibly hard maths question. Erlack, mabye I am a lesbian, thinking about Ms. Stamp when I'm about to get to number10.  
Unlike every other confusion in my life, I have no time to think about this problem, I have no time to consult Jas as 'it' is hovering inches above me (the 'problem' , not Jas)  
Mabye I called him Robbie because I got the two mixed up? Thats probably it. I just harmlessly mixed the two up. It is very confusing to tell the difference between two sex gods.

Wait a tick! I don't want to get to number 10 for the first time with someone whom I confuse with another sex god! I barely know anything about Masimo, except that he AND Robbie both hurt me. I can't do this. I don't want to get to Rosie and Sven with an Italiano Pratio, I want to get to Rosie and Sven level with someone I love.  
"Wait." I said just in the nick of time.  
"What is it, caro? Having second thoughts?"  
"Yes." I pulled myself up on the bed and covered myself with my jacket.  
"It is alright."  
What? No, "NO GEORGIA! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU! I MUST GET TO NUMBER 10 WITH YOU RIGHT AWAY!"? He took that quite well. Hmpf.  
"Thank you...I just don't think I'm ready."  
"It is...understandable. I know why, you are still in love with Robbie."  
"What?"  
"You called me by his name just before."  
Ugh, I have no time to explain things of mucho importantosity to the incredibly dim.  
"Goodbye Masimo."  
"Ciao."

I dressed again and left Italiano Pratios house. I guess I never will get to Rosie and Sven level. As that was probably my last chance ever with a boy. I will be one of those crazy old ladies with a squillion cats in her house that walks around shaking her cane at _les enfant_ passing on their skateboards.

Ho Hum Pigs Bum. This is quite depressing, I am on the rack of love once again. Except this time there is no sex gods to decide between, there is no one.  
I wonder if this is what drove Ms. Stamp to become a lesbian, boy troubles. It seems like the smart thing to do, mabye I should start respecting Ms. Stamp more and stop slipping that facial hair removing cream into her desk drawers next year.

**In my bed of Pain**

Mutti came in to my room, with Libby in her arms and wearing none other than her hamburger a go go flag skirt...has she even washed the thing? Erlack.  
"Georgia, I think we need to have a talk."  
Good vati in heaven, what is it now?  
"Yes?"  
"I was just wondering if you were going to be needing any _protection_ you know, just in case..."  
Ohmygiddygodstrousers! How did she know? Can she smell sex or something? No, because I didnt even have sex. Mabye she is just a mad psycho-whatsit.  
"Mutti, that is a very irrelevant question as I don't think I will be having sex any time soon."  
"Why not?"  
Does she want me to be having sex?  
"Because I don't think I will ever find someone."  
"Ginger's having sex. Ginger's having sex." Oh great, Libbys made a new song.  
"Honey, you will find someone. Don't worry. And then you'll be having lots of sex...when you're older."  
Erlack! Did I honestly need to hear that from my mutti? Seriously, she probably wants me to be having sex. I know she wants me to become a lady of the night so she can pimp me out.  
My mother the pimp.  
"I think I should take you for your first gyno appointment."  
I ask you, where the hell did that come from? No one can really understand what goes on in her head.  
"I will take you up on that offer...when hell freezes over."  
"Oh honey, it is important for you to be healthy."  
"I am healthy! I dont need someone looking at my girly parts to tell me that I'm healthy!"  
"You'll come around..."  
Think what you want Mutti, but I will not be paying a visit to any gyno-whatsit as long as my name is Georgia Nicholson.

Too bad, I was hoping to change my name when I turn 18 so I can ditch the ancients and they will never find me.

Libby walked away with mutti and down the hall singing, "Ginger's having sex..."  
"WHAT?" Roared Vati from downstairs somewhere.  
"Calm down, shes not having sex. Did you honestly think she would be?" Mutti assured him.  
And then the two of them began to laugh, and then libby joined in laughing andsinging, "Georgia's not having sex...hahaha. Georgia's not having sex." they continued to laugh.

Cheers, family. Like I needed to be reminded.

**6:00 pm **

Rang Jas.  
"Hello?"  
"Jas?"  
"Hey, Gee. Are you alright? You stormed out of here in a right state."  
"You all deserved it."  
"I'm not going back on what I said."  
"Jas?"  
"Yes?"  
"Shut up."  
"Ugh. Alright. What did you call for?"  
"I almost made it to Rosie and Sven Level with Masimo."  
"What? When?"  
"Just after I left the ace gang meeting."  
"Oh my...So what happened?"  
"Well, we got in the nuddypants and in his bed and got up to 8 and a half and then we were about to do it but I walked out."  
"What do you mean you walked out?"  
"I left."  
"In the nuddypants?"  
MY GOD, she is dim sometimes.  
"NO, Jas, queen of the very unbright , in my clothing of course."  
"So what did you do when you left?"  
"I just kind of said, I'm not ready...and then left."  
"Oh."  
"Yeah."  
"..."  
"..."  
"What was it like?"  
"What do you mean 'it'? I didn't actually do 'it'"  
"No...I mean, 'it'."  
"What?"  
"His trouser snake! I hear that italian boys-"  
"-Jas before you finish that sentence I should advice you not to or I will be forced to run over to your house andgive you agood duffing up with the telephone."  
"Ohh...So it wasn't that great. Tom's is-"  
That's where I hung up. I'm sorry, but I did not want to hear any details about Hunky's trouser snake addedems

**Tuesday June 21st**

So this is how my summer is going to be. Lying about in my bed of pain wondering if any of my so-called mates are going to ring. And yet I can't go out with them anyways because I'm afraid I may run into Dave the Laugh. That's another thing to add to the list of wonderful (not) things going on in my life right now.

Tuesday July 5th

What excitement I have encountered in the past two weeks! It has been a whirlwind of fun and adventure.

**NOT**

It has been a whirlwind of sheer crap, thats what its been.

**Wednesday July 6th **

11:00 am

What am I going to do with my life? I have absolutely no idea. I want something that offers minimal work for maximum pay, but I have been told recently that I am a very 'stupid girl' for aspiring for something so impratical.  
What does Hawkeye know? She has crushed my dreams.

I wonder what Hawkeye does during the summer?  
Her and Lindsay probably have meetings at the school every day where they polish science beakers and discuss new forms of torture they can use for next term.

**3:00 pm**

I would fancy being one of those rich, sophisticated, upbeat New york journalists that you see in all those movies.  
I do think I have a skill for writing.  
I will try my hand at it right now,

**Why Wet Lindsay and all the rest of the hitler youth are fascists who should be burned at the steak...**

**4:00 pm**

Showed the article to the ancients. They thought it was a little harsh, but well written.

**11:33 pm**

I've cracked it!  
I'll be one of those painfully truthful/possibly cruel critics that writes reviews of how utterly crap movies and restaurants and such are. It would be a brillant job for me to take out all my pent up agression from my hard knock life.

**Thursday July 7th**

**5:00 pm**

Discussed with the ancients my potential career idea earlier today.  
To my surprise they thought it was a wonderful idea.  
The only fly in the ointment is that now they have been spending all afternoon looking up unis that offer good journalism programs. They put oxford at the top of their list.  
I gave them a meaningful lookand hoped to buddha they were not daft enough to not be able to interpret what it meant. It meant,  
'Only wet drippy drips like Wet Lindsay get into Oxford and if you two actually think I'm going to get into that school then you belong in the loonie bin with grandpa.'

Apparently they were too daft.

They also put a load of schools in hamburger a go go, hockey hair a go goand even kiwi a go go. Cor, they are bloody keen to get rid of me.

**Saturday July 9th**

**9:00 pm**

Today was fab. Not.  
Jas and I called up the ace gang for a trip to boots.  
We headed out all together, except Rosie had the brilliant idea to split us up into two teams and carry walkie talkie radios and communicate as we made our way into town seperately then we would meet up at boots. So I went into a group with Rosie and Jools while Ellen, Jas and Mabs were in the other. It sounded like a good idea at the time, until we all got lost.

"Rosie, how could we have gotten lost? We're not far from where we live?"  
"I don't know, Gee, I've never been down this street before."  
"Me neither."  
"Try the radio again." Suggested Jools.  
"MAY-DAY, MAY-DAY! Foxy Cleopatras lost. I repeat, FOXY CLEOPATRAS lost."  
Yes, our team name was the foxy cleopatras...i thought it was quite clever.  
"Where are you?" Came Jas' voice.  
"Jas, if we knew where we were we wouldnt be asking for help now would we?"  
She sighed in her huffy granny Jasish way.  
"What street are you on, I mean."  
"I think Pruet."  
"...hmmm..."  
"Yes?"  
"Where the hell is that?"  
"I DONT KNOW, Jas. I wouldnt be calling to ask if I knew."  
"Well that was rather stupid move to call me then wasn't it?"  
"GOODBYE Jas."  
"Roger that. Over and Out."  
She is so spectacularily sad sometimes.

In the end I had to use Jools' mobile to ring vati and ask him to pick us up.  
He grumbled all the way home because we made him miss the game with the lads.  
Jools and Rosie had a laugh in the backseat when I did my impression of a lock jaw germ in the rear view mirror whilst he ranted.

**Monday July 11th**

**6:00 pm**

Uncle Eddie, Grandad, Aunt Kath and Cousin James have all come over for a family get together thing for Muttie. She has decided to become a working class mum, with more emphasis on the mum part. She recently got a promotion at work, you see, with less hours and more pay. And so she has decided to dedicate her valuable spare time to doing the washing and baking cookies, with the occasional italian/yoga/cooking class (when I say occasional I mean not so occasional, as in every day.)

She made us a bloody awful roast that tastes like bits of old tire. However I did not complain in the company of our guests because I am very grateful that I have a mutti that cooks me tire roast.

**8:35 pm**

Cousin James has just asked if I wanted to go upstairs and play a video game on his new laptop.  
I told him I would love to, but I have a rare fungus on my left big toe that makes it impossible for me to walk up staircases.  
He still seemed keen though, so Mutti forced me against my will.

**8:38 pm**

Grumbly. Grumbly. Up the stairs. My mouth still tastes like bits of old tire.  
Why don't my parents ever buy me anything nice like a laptop? Mutti just had a raise, they should buy me something useful and practicallike new makeup or those pretty flats I saw in a store window the other day.  
I have to make an effort to limp up the stairs so James doesn't suspect I was lying.

**11:10 pm**

At last the loon family has all gone home, I managed to live through a night with Cousin James and a squillion bald jokes from Uncle Eddie. But I made it.  
Libby crawled in to bed with me, it has been a while since she slept with me, I think she growing out of the sleeping in other peoples beds phase. I almost miss her at night (and scuba diving barbie, and pantalitzer, and our lord sandra, mr. potato head, and occasionally Muttis bra/Libbys Blankie)  
Angus and Gordystill sleep with me every night, they are loyal pals.  
Although they don't sleep here every night, most of the time they are off with Naomi.  
Ho hum pigs bum.

**Tuesday July 12th**

**11:00 am**

Cousin James left his laptop here!  
Being the super sleuth I am I decided to examine the laptop for sleuthing reasons.  
I went through all his files and found some nudy pics, tres amusant, and I listened to all his music files, almost all whiny sad music about killing yourself, blah. Almost like the Stiff Dylan's music, except bad. He had movie clips of the lord of the rings and was an official member of the lord of the rings club. Wow. What a social life my cousin leads.  
Then around half way through my sleuthing an instant message popped up,

_Hello James, you naughty boy. How are you feeling this morning? _

**11:05 am**

My cousin has an online lover!  
Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I rang up Jas immediately.  
"Hello?"  
"Jas get your bony arse down here right away!"  
"Whats wrong!"  
"You'll see! It is hilarious beyond the valley of hilarosity!"  
"I'll be there in a few minutes."

**12:00 pm**

We've been talking to James' internet lover.  
Her screename is _MissAlabama563 _  
"So she is from hamburger a go go!" Said Jas.

_James, muffin, are you still there? _

Hahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahaha! MUFFIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! We had a fit rolling on the floor and then Jas pointed out we probably would need to write something back or she would go.

_Yes, sexlolly, I am still here. _

I wrote next. This is going to be the most hilarious afternoon EVER!

_Good, I missed you on chatroom 326 last night. _

_Oh yes, chatroom 326, sorry I missed it._

_Where were you?_

_I was at my cousins house, she has big breasts and I like to touch them._

Jas wrote that last bit. I had to give her a serious duffing up with the pillow after that.

_thats hot. _

I don't think it is very hot, personally. Incest may be hot in Alabama...but not in Georgialand.

"What do we write now?" I asked Jas.

She began typing again,

_what are you wearing? _

_Nothing...care to see?_

Erlack! NO! NO! NO!

_Er, not right now, my...uh...computer is not accepting web cam stuff. _

_Oh alright. Mabye later. What do you want me to do to you, James?_

_I'd like you to meet me in public for a nice bit of a romp._

_Alright, where?_

I may be le genius and Jas may be, well, Jas but we sure as The bummer twins aren't virgins don't know any places in Alabama.

_You pick a place.  
_  
_Do you live anywhere near Truman Park? _

_Yes. Quite near there actually._

_Then I will meet you there in half an hour._

_Alright then. See you._

And we logged off.  
The two of us couldn't contain our laughter. We were rolling on the floor, pounding your fists on the ground with tears in our eyes kind of laughing. Miss Alabama563 was off to meet James somewhere in hamburger a go go and he is not going to be there! He's going to be thousands of miles away, across the atlantic! Hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha.

**12:45 am**

Jas decided to spend the night, we've spent the day laughing about James and MissAlabama563, doing manic dancing to the radio, eating pop tarts and talking about boys.

We were lying snug in bed and it was pitch black and silent. Finally Jas broke the silence,

"Do you think you and Dave will get back together?"  
"Jas what are you talking about?"  
"Well, you were so good together. You may have been acrap mateto ellen by going with him, buthe laughed at your jokes and you laughed at his."  
"I thought boys don't like girls for laughs, Jas."  
"Well, I've rethought that theory, and I think boys do like a girl who enjoys a laugh or two."  
"Yes well, Dave doesn't want to go out with me so long as I don't love him."  
"You do love him though."  
"Not this again."  
"But you do, admit it. You do."  
She is so annoyingly persistant. Mabye I should say I love him so that she'll leave me alone. No because then I won't hear the end of it.  
"Jas, I don't love him. I really don't."  
"YES, you do."  
"Jas, you can't tell me how I feel."  
"Yes I can, because I know you love him."  
"I don't though."  
"But you do."  
Blimey O'reillys trousers. This will go on for ages if I don't put an end to it. I tried to make a lezzie barrier between us with some pillows and a few teddies but she blithered on,  
"Admit it, admit you love him."  
"Enough, Jas!"  
"Have a good long think about it. I'll give you five minutes."  
"Jas, you can't give me five minutes to wonder if I love someone."  
"Well, how long will it take then. Ten minutes?"  
"No, Jas, it could take half an hour, or ten hours, or ten days!"  
"But I'll be asleep by then. Just think about it."  
So I'm thinking about it. I do like Dave, I mean, he is pretty good looking, quite gorgey actually. And his snogging skills are quite good, and he's the best laugh I've met in ages. He's also really sweet and thoughtful and he loves me. I do like him ALOT, mabye more than ALOT, mabye...I dont know. My brain has gone all akimbo. I do like him, very much. Yes, I love him, wait...I meant to say like him. Wait, do I love him? Mabye I do, but I can't. But mabye I do. Blast, I am undecided as two undecided things.  
"Maybe I love him."  
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"  
"Jas. Jas! Wake up!"  
"Huh?"  
"I said, mabye I love him."  
"I told you!"  
"I said Mabye Jas, not yes."  
"Well you do. No doubt about it."  
"How can you say that? Do you have proof?"  
She is really beginning to make me angry.  
"I see the way you look at him, or how you look when we talk about him, and you glow when your around him."  
"I glow? Oh please don't tell my Mutti that or she'll take me to Dr. Clooney and my life is just too tragic at the moment for her to start up her affair again."  
"Gee, for once in your life be serious."  
"Alright...This is me being serious."  
"SERIOUSLY."  
"OK this is me being serious, seriously."  
"You love him."  
"I might love him."  
"You love him."  
"I MIGHT love him!"  
"I give up, let's go to sleep."  
That's easy enough for her to say.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Thursday July 14th**

**3:56 pm**

Went searching through my drawers to find Muttis hair remover that I stole and cleverly hid for future usage, the oranguatang gene is wreaking havoc on my legs again.  
Didn't find the hair remover but I did find all the little prezzies he gave me during my solitary confinement. Here's his tape he gave me, I'll give it a listen.

**4:10 pm**

I listened to it three times and on the third time Mutti came in and started dancing around, swivelling her hips and such. I swear her basoomas are a hazard to society, she almost knocked my desk lamp over with them. Libby came in after in just her knickers and shouted, "Oh yeah!" As she thrust her hips to the music. She really is a lovely child, if not a little bit psycho.

**4:15 pm**

After I cleared the insane out of my room I listened to it again, it is quite a groovy song. Dave is the sweetest boy I have ever known. Mabye I should love him, what is wrong with me?

**4:20 pm**

Just found his picture of a boy with a horn on a mountain that says, 'I have the specific horn for Georgia Nicholson.' He really is sweet. I think I do love him, whats not to love? How do I tell him this without looking like un fool in a skirt?

**6:00 pm**

Jas and I went on an expedition to find Dave the laugh. We decided not to stop until we find that boy, the boy I love.  
It's still strange saying that and it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside, not to be confused with the feeling of being sick...that feeling is one that happens when you see your vati in the shower naked or when one of the bummer twins pops a giganticamus spot in front of you. Erlack!

**10:45 pm**

Still searching. We saw Robbie outside of a club, he looked sad when he saw me. Too bad for you, ex-sex god, you had your chance but you chose snogging sheep in whanagamata.

**11:34 pm**

Where in the name of Herr Kamyers fear of birds is that boy? We've looked all around the neighbourhood, foxwood, the park, the fields, the clubs, where his mates usually spend their boy-type time but he is no where in sight.  
Jas is getting very whiney and the way she gets when she is about to give up. Honestly, I don't know how Tom puts up with her.  
"Can't you tell him you love him another day."  
"Jas, what if I change my mind by tommorow?"  
"You wont."  
"How do you know that? I am very wishywashy with these types of decisions."  
"Hush."  
HUSH! I don't think anyone has told me to 'Hush' since I was in kindy, I am a woman now, a woman in love.

**12:00 am**

I knew the ancients would be starting to worry around this time. Finally we saw Rollo and Jools in the distance and ran up to them.  
"Rollo do you know where Dave is? We've been looking for him all night. We went to the school and to the park and the fields and EVERYWHERE."  
"Really...everywhere?" He asked.  
"YES!" Both Jas and I yelled at the same time.  
"Have you tried his house?"  
I blame Jas. She is so ludicrously dim sometimes, how could she have not thought to remind me to go to his house. Stupid, stupid Jas. Hmpfh.  
"No. We'll go to his house."

**five minutes later...**

Run, Run, Pant, Pant.  
Up the hill to Daves house.  
"Jas, why did you never suggest his house earlier?"  
"What? You're blaming me for this."  
"Oui, mon petite nicompoop. Now let's get to his house."  
Run, Run, Pant, Pant.

**five minutes later...**

At Dave the Laughs door. I'm afraid to knock, as he may be asleep right now.  
"You knock, Jas."  
"No, you knock, you're the one confessing your undying love for him."  
"Just shut up and knock Jas."  
She got all huffy (what else is new) but she did it.  
Thank our vati in heaven, Dave answered the door! Not his mutti or vati. He looked all yummy scrumboes and scrummy yumboes in his jim jams, boxers and a white t-shirt.  
"Gee? Jas? What are you doing here? Come for a little late night Dave snack?" He gave us his naughty smile and a wink.  
Ooer, I love him! I love him! I missed him so much.  
There was silence for a while.  
"Hello? Did you come here to stand here and look at me all night?"  
I didn't know what to say! I was standing there with my mouth opening and closing like a demented goldfish  
Jas nudged me really hard in the ribs, ow.  
"Er...I-I love you."  
Dave sort of stared agog like a gog for a minute or two and didn't say anything. Now he was standing there looking like a demented goldfish, I must say it looked positively cute on him. "Well, not that thats all been said and done...we have to, er, get going. Because my vati will be going ballisticamus . Bye."

Jas and I ran home as fast as our legs could carry us (ie. not very fast)

**Sunday July 17th**

**4:00 pm**

No word from Dave yet.  
Perhaps I scared him away? He already loves me though, so how could I have scared him away?  
The ways of the world are quite confusing.  
On a lighter note, Rosie called and said that us girls and our boy-y partners are going to take a road trip to London. It's not very far at all but it'll be alot of fun, we're going to riding around on double decker buses and go to dances and clubs every night. It will be fab beyond fab. If Dave the Laugh calls anytime soon perhaps he will go with me and it will be even more fab.

**6:00 pm**

Got out the old buddha gear to pray to him for Dave the laugh to show up at the door.  
Hommmmmmm, hommmmmm bring Dave the Laugh to my door. Hommmmmmm or let him ring me...hommmmmm.  
I would listen to the dolphin tape but I threw it out the window last time and it bounced off Mr. Next doors head and into his greenhouse (I'll never get it back now). Still, serves him right for being such a stupid old man with a huge bottom, now HE'LL have to listen to the squeaky dolphins.

**7:46 pm**

There will be hell to pay if Dave does not show up at my doorstep in the next five minutes.

**7:51 pm**

ten minutes...

**8:01 pm**

twenty minutes...

**8:21 pm**

by the time I count from one thousand backwards...

**8:25 pm**

643, 642, 641, 640, 639, 638, 637, 636, 635...

**8:35 pm**

195, 194, 193, 192, 191, 190, 189, 188, 187...

**8:40 pm**

...0.

**8:42 pm**

URGH!

**12:00 pm**

I think I'll call it a night, my head is spinning from all the counting.

**Monday July 18th **

**12:43 pm**

Rang Jas.  
"Jas he's been scared off by me."  
"No he hasnt, he'll show up."  
"No he won't. It's been ages."  
"Not that long, you know that boys take forever to get things done."  
"Yes but this is a very important thing. Me."  
"Well, as important as you are, mabye he had other things on his mind."  
"Like another girl?"  
"Not necessarily."  
"So you think it might be another girl?"  
Jas sighed, "No, Gee, it's not another girl. Just hold your horses, he'll show up."  
Hold my horses? How sad is that? Real sad, thats what your thinking.  
"Jas?"  
"Yes?"  
"Have you told Tom you loved him?"  
"Well, er, thats private."  
"WHAT? So you can stick your big nose into my love life but you wont let me stick mine into yours?"  
"I don't have a big nose! If anyone here has a big nose its you Georgia!"  
THE NERVE! It's not my fault my vati has the hugest conk known to humanity and has selfishly passed it on to me in the gene pool-whatsit.  
"Goodbye Jas, don't EVER talk to me again."  
"Good, I don't want to!"  
Then I hung up.

She'll call back.

**12:56 pm**

Or not. What do I care?

**3:06 pm**

Knock at the door. It must be Jas coming to apologize, well, I'm not going to answer it. If the ancients somehow decide to for once in their life answer the door themselves without calling me then she will have to deal with them because I am most certainly NOT going downstairs.

"Georgia! It's Dave!"

WHAT?

Scramble, scramble, mascara, lippy, powder, skirt, brush hair, scramble, scramble, run down stairs.

"Hi, Dave." I answered the door attractively.  
"Hi, Gee." He handed me a big bouquet of flowers an. I love him, I love him.  
"Oh, they are beautiful, Dave! Thank you."  
"Your welcome." He blushed.  
"So..."  
"So..."  
"Would you like to come in?"  
"Um, sure, yes, I mean, of course, ha."  
What the hell is he blithering on about?  
I took him up to my room because I would rather eat Libbys night time nappys (though she wears them less regularily lately) than take Dave the laugh to talk about our feelings towards eachother in the living room where my mutti and vati were sitting, laughing and watching tv.

**3:10 pm**

We sat on my bed and he looked around the room,  
"It looks the same in here."  
I wonder if we're going to snog, I hope to god that we do because I am suffering very badly from a case of snogging withdrawral, it has been FOREVER. My lips are in a constant pucker.  
"Yes, well, I try."  
He laughed.  
There was an awkward silence for a bit.  
"So..."  
Here comes the So...'s again.  
"Wanna snog?" He asked quickly.  
"You have no idea." I answered and that was that. We were snogging. It was gorgey and yummy scrumboes with all the trimmings. We quickly shot up to 8 1/2 on the snogging scale and then the clothes were coming off.  
I couldn't really talk much because I was busy trying to figure out how the hell the buttons work on his trousers. I made a mental note to make a complaint to whichever company made these trousers about how hard they are to get them off.Especially in a case of sheer desperadoes when you are trying to get them off a gorgey bloke in your bed. Even though I couldn't talk and was busy making mental notes in my head I was still able to breathe out,  
"I love you." I happen to be quite the multi-tasker.  
"I love you too." he said whilst trying to unbutton my shirt. Seems he was having troubles too.  
Finally we were in the nuddypants and it was very nerveracking trying to figure out who was supposed to do something next. Dave was the bold one and made the first move...

**Tuesday July 19th **

**8:00 am**

Lalalalalalala. I am so in love. Life is fabbity fab fab fab! I looked in the mirror today and I realized that I do glow when I've been with Dave the Laugh. Please don't think that I'm glowing bright green or something, because if you think that then you are quite plainly stupid and a prat. I have a peachy glow in my cheeks, I think it de-emphasizes my nose a little bit, which is always a plus. Anyways, where was I? Oh yes, Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Life is fab beyond the valley of fabnosity! I am the lurrrrve goddess of lurrrve.

**12:23 pm**

Jas Rang.  
"Listen, Gee, I'm really sorry. To answer your question I have told Tom I love him and he said the same for me and I shouldn't have called your nose big, you have a lovely nose."  
"No I don't my nose is bloody ugly, and you know what? I love it. Lalalalala."  
"...OK."  
"I love life you see, and my nose is part of life, so therefore I love my nose. Isn't life AMAZING?"  
"Are you on drugs?"  
"No silly. I'm in love."  
"Well I already knew that, you just sound...weird."  
"Well certain _acts _recently have made me feel just splendid."  
"What are you talking about? acts?"  
"Think about it, good 'ol Jassyknickers. Whilst you think I am going to go throw daisies at the prat poodles because they are a creature of life and life is fabbity fab."  
"..."  
"..."  
"Ohmigosh! You didn't!"  
"teehee, I did."  
"No, YOU DIDN'T!"  
"I did."  
"YOU DIDN'T!"  
Now I'm starting to think Jas isn't so fabitty fab fab. Although she is a creature of life so I'll give her a second chance.  
"Seriously, Jas, I did."  
"Ohmigosh!"  
"I know! Tell all the girls, emergency ace gang meeting at my house in an hour! Bring the snacks!"

Sigh, Isn't life just fabbity fab and yummy scrumboes and all that jazz of sorts?

* * *

**A/N**

**DONE! I know, I know. You had to wait a SQUILLION years for this chapter. It took alot of thought though so you'll have to forgive me. I really hope you liked the final chapter and thank you so much for reading and reviewing all the way through! It's what kept me going! It's a nice long ending and I think you'll be satisfied. **

I've changed her essay from Rolf harris to the hitler youth because Georgia never seemed to hate Rolf with as much of a passion as she hated wet lindsay and company. lol. I did it for authenticosity purposes.

Anyways, I'm contemplating whether to write another Georgia story, taking place after this one sometime. Perhaps about their trip to London. I need some time to gather my thoughts and think of ideas, any suggestions are welcome though lol.

Thank you SO much for reading, You are all fab and double cool with knobs.

**Emma.**


	16. AN: SEQUEL IS UP!

**Hey Guys!**

Tis I, Emma!

Just writing one last A/N in this story to tell you that the sequel is up!

It is called,

Georgia's Megafab London Adventure  
**  
Go check it out! Guaranteed to be groovy bananas and such!**

Thanks for reading,

**Emma! **


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